I NEED TO BE GRATEFUL

I NEED TO BE GRATEFUL AND MEAN IT. JUST TYPING THE WORDS MEANS LITTLE! ONE DAY I WILL REGRET HOW UNGRATEFUL I WAS.

ALTHOUGH I STILL KNOW THAT I AM VERY HAPPY ALONE. IS IT BECAUSE I KNOW MY HUBBY COMES HOME AT THE END OF THE DAY? WOULD I FEEL THE SAME IF I WAS ALWAYS ALONE? I DON’T KNOW. HE IS PLAYING GOLF TODAY AND MY DAUGHTER WENT TO THE POOL. I DON’T THINK I’LL GO AS I AM VERY CONTENT HERE AT HOME.

MAYBE I NEED MORE HELP WHEN I GET HOME. MAYBE I NEED ANOTHER PSYCHOLOGIST. MAYBE I NEED TO ACCEPT WHO I AM.

I HAVE THOUGHT THAT MORE OFTEN THEN NOT I AM NOT GOOD WITH PEOPLE. I DID MAKE TWO CALLS TODAY TO PEOPLE BACK HOME BUT TO BE HONEST THEY WERE MORE DUTY CALLS THAN ANYTHING ELSE.

TONIGHT WE ARE GOING TO HUBBY’S COUSIN FOR SUPPER.

TOMORROW IT WILL BE BACK TO MY ROUTINE. I WILL NOT BE GOING OUT FOR BLACK FRIDAY. THE LAST THINK I HAVE TO DO IS SPEND MONEY. I FORGOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY DAUGHTER AND I ARE GOING TO THE SPA FOR A MASSAGE AND FACIAL!!!! 

I REALLY UPSET MY DAUGHTER YESTERDAY BECAUSE  WE TALKED ABOUT HAVING CHILDREN AND I GUESS I SAID IT WASN’T ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA. SHE TOOK IT VERY PERSONALLY!  I WILL HAVE TO APOLOGIZE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I DID MEAN THAT NOT EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE CHILDREN. THEY ARE A LOT OF WORK, A BIG RESPONSIBILITY AND NOT ALWAYS WORTH IT. I JUST WANT HER TO KNOW THAT SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO HAVE CHILDREN. I GUESS I PUT MY FOOT IN MY MOUTH ONCE AGAIN. I SHOULD BE A HERMIT. I DON’T DO WELL WITH PEOPLE.

TIME FOR LUNCH AND THEN HUBBY WILL BE HOME.