I AM SO DOWN

I have been so depressed. I have been so down!!!!!!!!!  I don’t know how I got through most of my life but lately I am not a "happy" person. I think way too much about death, getting old, senile, sick and dependent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am sorry for my hubby who has to stick around. To his credit he has been very patient. Slowly I am trying to explain to him how important driving is to me. I recently realize how unhappy I was not taking my car tot he campground. I just can’t stand having to be driven around by someone else. I just can’t stand someone dropping me off at "TARGET" and going to WALMART and then coming back to pick me up. Nex t summer I am not sure if we will still keep the trailer but if we do I will make sure I have the car on the weekend or I will bring my own car.

Anyhow hubby went to play golf. I am happy for him but not for me. I am stuck hereat the trailer. Of course I have friends and they will take me into town and to wherever I want to go. It’s NOT the same. Also going into town means spending money although I only plan to buy maybe at the yarn store.

I don’t know how to change my attitude. In many many ways I am very lucky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know that but I don’t feel lucky. I feel miserable. I guess I should think of my friend who has a daughter who is very sick!

I should think of my friend who is very sick and doesn’t leave the house.

There are so many people who suffer much more than I do.

However all I can think of is myself and my problems. After all their problems don’t affect me except to upset me and mak me feel more depressed.

Maybe I should go talk to someone…………………..I have been talking to hubby. He might understand because yesterday he said that maybe just maybe next year I will drive myself to Florida again. Of course it will all depend how we manage with one car there.

Time for breakfast and then I’ll be back here. I am sure my friends are NOT rushing to go into town.

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE; THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.