BLACK FRIDAY ALERT

THIS IS AN EMAIL I SENT TO MY CHILDREN THIS MORNING.

 Dear children,


Dad and I have spent the last two hours(from 4-6 am) perusing through the HUGE NEWSPAPER with all the BLACK Friday SPECIALS. We will be going out tonight so we can be at the first store at 12:00 AM. The sale continues all weekend so please don’t try to reach us. We will be SHOPPING  in a major way! Do you want anything? 
LORNE AND MARTY! EMERGENCY! PLEASE CREATE A GOOD DATA BASE SO WE CAN RECORD OUR PRIORITY SHOPPING LIST. Forget about your job until this is done. We also have to be able to input the store addresses, distance from each other so we can coordinate it on our GPS. Please send as soon as possible. In fact right now!!!!!!!!
We need a section to input prices, items and times of sale.
Craft stores are open only tonight from 4 – 6. At four, discounts are 50%. At seven discounts are 30% on your whole order and ten dollars off if you arrive before six.
Macy’s is open at 3:00 am. So we plan to arrive at quarter to 2. We want to be first in line!!!!!!!!!! We aren’t sure exactly what we will buy but who cares. We will be saving at least 20 dollars. More for you when we die. What else is important!!!!!!!!
TVS? Do you want a new TV? We can get one for each of you. Tonight at three am there are two huge TVS on sale. 72 inch. At BEST BUY it’s 150 if you can carry it out yourself. At Radio Shack they are 300 but only if you get there and are first in line at 7. We can recruit some of our friends who don’t sleep anyways. So hurry and send us your wish list. With all the money we will save we can all go on an around the world CRUISE for a year. Wouldn’t that be wonderful??????
Dad and I are going to buy some STAY AWAKE and ENERGY PILLS this morning. They are on sale at Walmart for 2.50 for twenty but at CVS they are two bottles for three. Where do we go first???
So, children, we are also looking for Memory Pills on sale as we already forgot which stores have the best deals. HELP!!!!! Maybe you can fly down to help us. The cost of the airplane is nothing compared to how much we will be saving.
If you have a wish list please send it as soon as you can. We are planning our route this afternoon.
Have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Love MOM and DAD


PS:::::::: Dad just decided that we will buy inline roller skates this morning so we can get around the stores faster than the old people with walkers and canes. Can you recommend shoulder pads and knee pads, elbow pads so we stay safe? It doesn’t matter what they will cost because we will return them after the weekend sales. That’s new technology we picked up from the campground.
GOTTA RUN>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Dad just decided that we will soon buy motorcycles so we can get from one store to the other quickly and not have to worry about parking spaces.


IN conclusion we love you all, miss you and MOM can’t wait to see you in Toronto. I’ll have to pay a lot of luggage charges but once again WHO CARES??????? Please limit your purchases to fifty pounds per valise. PLEASE HIRE A TRUCK AND MEET ME AT THE AIRPORT. 2:00 am at the airport.