I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANT

I am so confused. I don’t know what I want. For example…………….my DIL asked if I would babysit this weekend as they had a wedding. I asked her to email me the details. Well she never did and I never pursued it. In a way it was a relief. Then I spoke to my other son and he told me he was going to babysit. Then he would drop them off at their other grandparents and they would sleep over there. I felt jealous! I also felt that I had probably disappointed my son and his wife. I don’t know what I want! I always wanted to play an important role in my grandchildren’s life but lately I haven’t been spending any time with them.

I want to take my grandson when he is with his mother. My son tells me he would prefer if I would take them only when he is with him. What do I do?????????????? I would like to take him every week!

My hubby picked up the check yesterday. I haven’t asked him what he plans to do with the money. WHY??????????? I’m hoping he’ll give me the whole thing so I can pay some debts. Am I dreaming in technicolor? Should I insist on discussing and reaching a conclusion about what we should do with the money? It is so much easier to just forget the issue but then I am quietly stewing and aggravated.

Tomorrow I am going to the doctor to check out my high blood pressure and headaches.

Then we will drive to the country.

I spoke to my friend a couple of hours tonight. She went to the US to help her daughter. 

So I better get to bed. Good night.

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June 28, 2012

I am not sure why you are reluctant to discuss what to do with the money with your hubby? Doesn’t he want you to pay off your debt? No matter what he thinks, your debt is HIS debt too since you are married you are BOTH responsible for it. It needs to be paid off why would he not want to help you pay it? I don’t get it.

I hope everything goes well with your doctor’s appointment tomorrow.

June 29, 2012

Don’t feel jealous OR guilty about not babysitting the grandkids this weekend! You have done so much for and with them already….and you are going to do lots more, because that’s the kind of grandma you are. It’s good to let (or make!) the other grandparents do something with them once in awhile. The more loving people in a child’s life, the better. :o) !! Since you get along well with your grandson’s mom, why don’t you speak to her about you spending some time with him when he is with her? She’s his parent too, and even though your son and she are divorced, she’s still part of your life. Some things, maybe, are not his business! It would be good for your grandson and you to spend more time together; it would give you and your former DIL a chance to spend a little time together (which is good, since you get along well), etc.! hugs, Nicky

June 29, 2012

I don’t quite understand why you have so much trouble talking to your husband? You’ve been married for a long time; why are you so submissive to him? But as my husband tells me, “tell me what you want; I can’t read your mind. If you don’t ask, you will never know the answer”.

June 29, 2012

you and your hubby need to get to talking and discuss finances. should be easier than it is. i wish my grandson would see more of his other grandparents. he doesn’t see them very often and i want him to get to know them. i’ve been with him every day since he was 16 months old but he needs to get to know his dad’s parents, too. take care,

My comments are the same as your first noter’s. I really think you should make a huge effort to pay off debt. Would he be against that really? If so, do you know why?

June 29, 2012

Maybe this time will help you to think through how much time you want to spend with your grandson. Sometimes we need a break. Hang in there and I am here if you need to vent. Love,

June 29, 2012

ryn: we are from Cleveland Ohio. We left 5 months ago. this is our second try in California. My 3 year old son was born in Oakland. that was the bad part of California.

June 30, 2012

I’m sure your health and your mood would be better if you used the money to pay off your debts. I’m sure that would make hubby happy as well as ease your mind.

June 30, 2012

Next time offer to babysit them and ask for the details later.