IT WAS JUST TOO MUCH

This trip has just been too much for me physically and emotionally. I will have to learn to take better care of myself. I will have to learn that I am going to be seventy and I can’t do everything. I can’t be there for everyone as much as I would like to. Actually everything was going ok but when I left my friends at the hospital today I was crying. I guess it went downhill from there. I have been just running and doing too much. All of it was emotional and finally caught up with me today.
So this is what happened. I went with my son to pick up my three grandchildren. Before that I had stopped at the bakery and bought stuff for supper and all sorts of goodies for the children. I knew it was TOO MUCH but it was my last time to see them for a few months and I figured what the harm??????? Maybe I was wrong. I gave the children large lollipops and expected them to eat them right away in the car or whatever. So we pick them up at school and go to my married son’s house. The children go off and play. Then we made Hanukah cookies. So far so good! Then I went downstairs and painted with my granddaughter! We used the new stuff I bought last week. My DIL had bought a round white table for 300!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never dreamed that she would buy such an expensive table for them to paint on. I didn’t think to cover the table. Maybe I was wrong but I thought the children’s art corner should be to have fun! I was wrong! She got so upset when she saw paint on the table. I left it so the paintings could dry and then I would take the paintings off and wash the table. She got so hysterical!!!!!!!!!!!!! She started washing the table. I think most came off. I’m not sure because she got angry, through the washcloth in the corner and ran out of the house. She was also upset because when she walked in my grandson and her daughter were fighting over cookies they had made. Apparently my grandson took her cookies and she wanted one. She blamed my grandson as he was older and said they shouldn’t fight over such trivial stuff etc etc. She didn’t want to be the only one to discipline them. He should want to make her happy etc. What does she want he is only eight!!!!!!!! At that point I took my grandson who was very upset and left the house. We went out for supper, shopping and I planned to take him home as he was with his mother this week. We were both so upset and she left so I thought I might as well take him home. My son called and told us we should come back to clear the air. Well she was ranting about everything. She was angry because she feels that I judge everything she does. I am critical. OY!!!!!! I thought I was being very careful. I guess I’m not! I’m sorry. I wish I could tell her what I really think and feel. She wants to know why the kids run to greet my son after he comes from work and not her. I don’t know why! She said a lot of other things to the children. I think she is expecting way too much from them. They are only eight and six. She has to grow up! She said she is in pain and won’t get more medication for another few days. Maybe she has to discuss this with her doctor. She is under terrible stress from her job because she’s hoping for a promotion and thinks she will be fired. We hugged but I know we have very hard feelings now. I was planning to email her but now I don’t want to. Anyhow my son and I left to take my grandson home. Right or wrong we ended up going into the house and talked with my ex DIL and her lover. Once again I feel like I betrayed my son. I should have gone back to his house and talked with his wife. It just didn’t work out. We stayed until 11. They were telling us how upset my grandson is when he has to go to his father’s house for the week. I finally told my son that he is the one who can maybe talk to my DIL and my son. I’ll be away anyways and I think my son can help. My DIL should go for help. She completely stresses out the house and it’s no way to live. I just don’t understand why my son married her. She’s sick mentally and physically. I am sure she’s not all bad but her anal personality is causing so much unhappiness. What was supposed to be a fun night turned out to be a disaster. She NEEDS so much. I explained to my son that I just can’t be there for her the way she would like me to be. I had a very bad week. I am older and I do not have the strength to cope with so much. I have three children. I have a husband and friends. I just can’t tear myself apart.
Anyhow tomorrow I’m going back to Florida and that’s it. I never use to call and I won’t now. I need peace and quiet. Maybe I’ll email……….
I have to go pack up as I’m leaving nine thirty in the morning. I have a taxi coming. My son has to get his car looked at because it was making strange noises today.
My married son has always given me heartache for one reason or another. It’s not his fault it just happens.
So time for bed. Time to pack!