NO APPRECIATION
Since we have moved in I have done a TON of work. Hubby has been busy organizing his room for his cars, computer etc. I didn’t expect him to help me with my books or other parts of the house but it would be wonderful if he would at least say HEY YOU DID A GREAT JOB!!!!!!!!!!! Since we moved in on Wednesday I have unpacked and got rid of at least 200 boxes. Today I completely emptied our living dining room of all boxes etc. I know they won’t be unpacked for awhile so I put all the boxes into the bedroom on my side. Some of those boxes were heavy! I removed all the other junk lying around. I even swept the floor but since they are dark black/brown they will always look dirty. I didn’t mind but I wish he would have said something positive about all I did. He never has so why do I expect it now?????? It is upsetting though as I am trying to get the house in order for him. I would leave a lot around and get to it when I get to it. I just told him to come look at the living/dining room and see how great it looks. NOT A WORD!
Tomorrow I plan to work on my room. The heck with the rest of the house. It can wait………..all he does is complain about things we are missing for the bathroom etc. He never offers to go buy them. I did go to WINNERS today with a friend and bought some toilet paper holders, baskets for my art room etc. Tomorrow will be for me and my stuff.
I’m not sure if I want to say my hubby is selfish, self-absorbed, inconsiderate or what. He was always a quiet, unemotional man. He talks very little and rarely makes a comment on how I look, how good/bad the meal is that I prepared. There has never been an ounce of gratitude for anything I’ve done.
I do see he cares sometimes especially with this house as he has tried to make things the way I would like it. I guess I shouldn’t complain but I do think I deserve a HUGE compliment for the work I’ve done. I have told him more than once that I appreciated all the work he did before we moved in. I guess I can’t expect him to change at this stage. I just wish I had been smarter when we first got married but I was young, innocent and STUPID!!!!!!!!
It’s a shame that you don’t feel appreciated. Some people are just not demonstrative. It’s a shame, really.
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Some people are socially retarded. It’s best to just teach him, like you would a child, how to behave. Tell him what to say and make him say it! I think being very direct is the most effective approach. Good luck!
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You pretty much nailed it on the head, men are selfish, self absorbed and inconsiderate. 😉 Great job on the house by the way! 🙂
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I have learned never to expect men to notice such stuff….. most rarely do anyway. Hang in there and just do as muc h as you can each day…there is no rush. Alternatively – have you tried asking him for some help? He may not realize you want some. hugs P
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He probably still needs his mother, for all you know. Heyyyyy you did a fabulous job!!! We’re all very proud of you!
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I sometimes share your feelings of being unappreciated. *Hugs*
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I hear you on this.
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Oh boy!You ARE up and down this week!A bit like a yo-yo!If hubby says nothing just ignore it.You know him best,he probably just EXPECTS you to do it,becaause you always have!Bless!Congrats on your daughters PhD and good luck with her job.Best aadvice I can give you is one day at a time honey!Lots of lovexxxx
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Oh boy do I know what you mean. My husband similar in that aspect. Everyone once in awhile he’ll tell me my hair looks nice or that dinner tastes really good and when he does, my jaw about hits the floor! I used to make a big deal out of it and thank him profusely but I think that embarrassed him. Sounds like you’re doing well and making some progress. Good for you! 🙂
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I think sometimes men just do not quite understand us women. Hope you have a nice weekend. Love,
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I hate that feeling of needing the appreciation and the words of affirmation and simply not getting them. We women often do not say what we need, but when we do and still do not get the needs fulfilled we can feel a double hurt because of having done the uncomfortable step of asking and still not getting the help. Maybe we should find a paradigm shift in these situations, recognizing the love language barrier or the lack of appreciation he feels in whatever way matters to him rather than the ways we have expressed appreciation. Near misses sometimes go both ways, sadly since it does matter to everyone. And yes, I also know that feeling of hindsight and coulda woulda shoulda known.
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Tell him what you need !
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A friend used to say to her husband / whoever else “Now, are you ready to say “Wow! That’s fantastic!”?” and after a while they did get the idea .. starting off saying it sarcastically, and then she’d say “Thank you, that makes me feel appreciated!” and so things did improve. She had 6 sons!
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