THEY’RE COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Two of my children are coming for about a week or so. My son will be here Sunday night or early Monday morning. I am not sure how long he is staying. My daughter will be arriving Tuesday at midnight. Her flight here was $99 but they added another 100 in taxes etc. Can you believe it? She’s staying until the 30th. It will be hectic and crowded but I guess I can stand it and enjoy them because it will be short. I’m so sad that my other son is not coming with my grandson. No matter how much I try to think of his girlfriend’s children as my grandchildren I resent them. I resent them because I have to "treat them equally." It costs me so much to send toys to the three of them. One is just so much easier. Actually I do LOVE them. It’s just that my son would probably come if it was only him and his son. However now he is five and it is too expensive to come here. I also have to remember that my son was miserable being a single parent. I guess I am just confused. I use to send presents to my grandson at his mother’s house. He’s there every other week so I wanted him to get my mail every week or at least as often as possible. Anyhow before I left for Florida my son and his girlfriend told me I shouldn’t be sending him presents there. I don’t understand why not. What’s the big deal? OK! So he probably would receive more than the other two. I still want to send there but not sure if it’s right. What do you think? Now I am sending the three children presents at the same time. Last year I always sent an extra one to my grandson at his mother’s house.
My son’s girlfriend sent me an email explaining that my grandson was having a difficult time coping with the divorce. It makes me so very sad!!!!!!!!! She said he is not doing as well as he should be at school. The divorce according to her is taking a toll on him. I want to see him and talk to him and hug him so badly. I will try to call my son when she isn’t around but the only time I can think of is when he is driving home from work. It also is NOT easy to talk about such emotional issues when you’re driving and on the phone. I guess I’ll write him an email one day soon.
So today I did the Wii for forty. In the afternoon I went for lunch and shopping with my new friend. I can’t believe that she’s living with my best friend’s hubby. The one who passed away. Actually she is his SIL!!!! She’s very friendly and I can sure use a friend.
So I should try to get some sleep. I fell asleep after supper so couldn’t fall asleep when I went into bed about 11. My friend is coming tomorrow for three weeks. It will be great to see her. The next few weeks will be hectic. I will be glad when things settle down and I start my courses.
I am glad that two of your children ar ecoming to visit you. I am not sure what you should do about your grandson, I think you have to respect your son’s wishes on that. Can he (your grandson) get some kind of counseling at school? My daughter has a social worker at school to help her with her feelings about the divorce, she was very isolated after my divorce but she is fine now and doing much better in school.
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how wonderful….I know how special such family times are. Enjoy…hugs P
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Instead of buying presents next time, try this GIVE an airline ticket as a present and have him come visit with you . He probably would love that as the Best gift anytime.
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after all you are RICH!! (from your previous entry)
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Why CAN’T you send him things at his mother’s??? Hello? This “treating themm the same” is fine if they were all biologically from the same parents, or adopted. The step thing has it’s limits. My parents went through the same thing with my brother’s Ex girlfriend. SHE wanted them to be able to call my parents “Grandma and Grandpa.” Nope. Not gonna happen. Even the kids felt weird!
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Have a great visit with your kids! I don’t know what to tell you about the gift giving. It’s a difficult situation all around.
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hectic times for sure. I hope you get it all sorted out to your comfort level
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I happen to think that sending one gift from you to his mother’s would not hurt anything since that way he gets something from you at both places. I say it is not the amount of presents each receives but that each of them gets gifts from you no matter where they are. Love,
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I don’t know what to think about the gift thing. I could see if your son was married to the gf and the kids are his step kids. But they’re not officially that yet. I think all you can do is respect your son’s wishes.
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Our adult kids can be very bossy to us about what we should do and what we should feel, say, and accept. The simple fact is, it’d be almost impossible for you to feel the same way about the new children as you feel about your own grandson, who’s been YOUR GRANDSON his whole life. The way relationships break up so often nowadays, you can’t be sure how long the girlfriend’s children will be a part of your life anyway. But it’s not the kids’ fault. And of course you want to get along well with your son. So I guess it’s a good thing, to treat the children all equally even though in your heart of course you favor your own grandson. hugs, Nicky
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RYN: Thanks!
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Have a great visit with your kids! While I do understand where your son and girlfriend are coming from, I also agree with a lot of your noters. Its not like you’re leaving anyone out when you send gifts! I think sending a gift to your grandson’s mother’s house is a nice gesture without upsetting the ‘step-grandkids.’ I guess you have to respect their wishes but I don’t see the harm in it.
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I wonder if the girlfriend makes the same demand from her parents and grandparents: that they treat your grandson “equally.” She sounds a bit insecure and controlling, to me. Family dynamics can really put a damper on gift-giving. I think it would be a good idea to talk to your son and find out his thoughts behind asking you to change your practices…I would hate to hurt feelings and misunderstandings to ultimately lead to your grandson being the victim.
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