WHAT TO DO

Those of you who have read me forever might remember that I had a good friend that I don’t talk to anymore. Anyhow tonight at the spaghetti supper she came to sit with us. I spoke to her a little. My question is whether I should approach her to talk to her when I see her again tonight. Do I ask her to be friends again???????????? Do I just be friendly? She told me her grandson was getting married. I didn’t say anything. She doesn’t know that I am sour about marriages since my son got a divorce. I am not sure if I should talk to her or leave well enough alone. It’s about five years that we aren’t friends. Before that we were very close. Her hubby was there but we didn’t say a word. I bet he is the one that is holding our friendship back. Of course I didn’t approach him. This friend is in a great group. One of the women is the Queen Bee. They have so much fun. They do so many fun activities. They are the ones arranging this party tonight.
Anyhow if by any chance you are reading this I would love to hear your two cents. The group I am in now is boring as a rock!~!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zenith

September 11, 2010

I think I would just let it play out and be pleasant.. You stopped talking for a reason last time.. I am not sure it is right to try renew a friendship just to get in with her circle of friends.

Gypsy Spirit

it seems to me she is trying to reach out to you. Just go with your feelings on the issue. hugs P

justMe

My best friend and I had a tiff and quit speaking…for about 20 years. Then about 6 years ago we got back in touch and have been inseperable since then. Can’t imagine life without her:)

offmychest

I think you should talk to her and see how things go, maybe she really wants to be friends again.

I think you should talk to her, and even tell her you’re sorry for anything that you did to hurt her back then. Soft words soften hardened hearts.

Grammy's Heart

September 12, 2010

Since she approached you, I would take that to mean she is open. I would talk with her about the past, but I’m one of those people who just get things out in the open, settle it, then go on with clean slate from there.

darcy0207

I agree with the first noter. Depending on the feelings you get when you’re with her – do you get a knot in your stomach or are you comfortable – play it by ear. I have a lot of trouble with sarcasm – oh, you would know… such and such, as we weren’t close then… that sort of thing. Sounds as if there’s more than the simple friendship that’s confusing you – her group is more fun….

If you are still sour, it might be better to leave well enough alone, otherwise it might cause all sorts of drama.

I think she is giving you a sign that she’d like to be friends again and to let bygones be bygones. If you’d like to be friends with her, by all means, approach her and say hello. I might take it a bit slow at first, and I might not share as much with her as you used to. But, at the very least, you can become acquaintances who are cordial to one another. It could be fun! RYN: Thank you somuch for your notes. I appreciate the support.

If this person has been your friend for years, there is no reason to be unfriendly, so just be friendly. A TRUE friend is a friend forever, even if you disagree about some things, true friends stay true. Sometimes life separates us from friends. Many times it is not’personal’ but just what people are going through, so to old friend, heck, just be friendly. And as you are being friendly, then and there you can asses your friendship. Sometimes when undecided, we use the “more good then bad method or more bad than good method” …. And then it is easy to make a decision about friendship. and with true friendships, where hearts were connected, there is always a way to connect again, even if not the same as the first connection. just be friendly that’s all the rest will handle itself

Just let things develop naturally or not. There’s no reason to have to say “the friendship is back on” unless there was a particular argument. Why did you stop being friends anyway? Why do you want to be her friend again, except for her other friends? Can you make friends with one of them? My best friend from high school and I stopped talking for 14 years and we made up a few years ago.