OBSERVATIONS ON GROWING OLDER

Your kids are becoming you…………and you don’t like them……..
But your grandchildren are perfect
Going out is good
Coming home is better
When people say you look GREAT
They add "for your age"
When you needed the discount you paid full price.
Now you get discounts on everything………
Movies, hotels, flights, but you’re too tired to use them
You forget names ………..but it’s ok
Because other people forgot
They even knew you!
The five pounds you wanted to lose
is now 15 and you have a better chance
of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.
You realize you’re never going
To be really good at anything———–especially golf.
Your husband is counting on you
To remember things you don’t remember
The things you use to care to do,
You no longer care to do
But you really care that you
Don’t care to do them anymore
Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair
With the TV blaring than he does in bed
It’s called his "pre-sleep"
Remember when your mother said
Wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident?
Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE and accident.
You use to say’
"I hope my kids get married"
Now, "I hope they stay married."
You miss the days when everything worked
With just an OFF and ON switch.
When GOOGLE, Ipod, EMAIL and MODEM
Were unheard of, and a mouse was something
That made you climb on a table.
You use to use more four letter words………
"What? When?"
Now that you can afford
Expensive jewellery, it’s not safe to wear it anywhere
Your husband has a night out with the guys
But he’s home by 9….next week it will be 8:30.
You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you already read it.
Notice everything they sell in stores is sleeveless
What use to be freckles are now "liver" spots.
Everybody whispers………..
Now that your husband retired
You’d give anything if he found a job!
You have three sizes of clothes in your closet……..
2 of which you will never wear.
But old is good in some things:
OLD SONGS
OLD MOVIES
AND BEST OF ALL OLD FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!