A MISERABLE DAY

have been so MISERABLE all day. In fact I still am. Following is the letter that I sent my ex DIL today. What proceeded this email is that my ex DIL sent my son divorce papers through a bailiff at work. He was so upset that he didn’t tell us till a month after. Today she didn’t let me take my grandson like I have been doing for the past five years. I thought it was time to tell her what I think.

Dear EX,

Up until the very last minute I thought you would allow me to take
my grandson today. I can’t believe that you decided against it. WHY???????
What do you hope to accomplish by breaking a little boy’s heart? I
thought we both understood last week just how important it is for him.
Were you lying about how upset he was? Did you just want some free
time? Last Thursday he made me promise I would take him every
Thursday.
Anyhow at first I figured ok. So I won’t take him today. I have a
cold. I feel lousy and I would have a day to catch up on things. Then
I started to cry inconsolably and I have been crying ever since. Ever
walk through Loblaw’s with your heart breaking and sobbing? Well today
EX thanks to your decision that poor old woman was me. I can’t stop
crying and asking myself why?
What have I ever done to you? I have supported you throughout your
marriage to my son and ever since. I was there when you gave birth. I
was there whenever you needed a sitter. I was there when you wanted
something from the US. All not a big deal but I was there for you.
Although you think I am on my son’s side and of course I am and should
be I have always treated you with respect, caring and love. I trusted
you and told you things I never should have. I know that now. What a
fool I have been!
How could you sit with me last Thursday and be so warm etc? Were you
laughing on the inside? Were you always laughing behind my back
because I tried to help you with Quatres Saisons? Do you NOT
understand that a HUGE sum of money was lost and more will probably be
lost because of buying that property? What about all the stress? We
did it for you and your mother??????????? My son has NO money. When
will you ever accept that fact? You were there when UN Trading went
downhill. Why can’t you just accept the fact that there is no money?
You will get what you are owed. The courts will decide now.
Last week my grandson told me that you told him he couldn’t wear his shoes
because he couldn’t get them dirty and he came from your tummy and I
don’t remember the rest of the nonsense. How dare you? I didn’t say a
word. He wore his winter boots because I didn’t want to say anything
to upset both of us. EX I am so disappointed with you. I never
thought you would stoop so low. Why would you tell my grandson that you don’t
like his father’s girlfriend??? He has to live with her every other week. You don’t
have to like her. The poor little boy has no choice. His parents have
created this mess for him and he has no choice. Just think about how
you would feel if every other week you were uprooted and had to go
live in another home with another family and another set of rules?
Are you telling him that yours is his TRUE home. Again what are you
trying to accomplish? How would you feel if we started to talk to your
about you and your lover?
Anyhow EX I just wanted you to know how I feel about the situation. I
always keep everything in and hidden but today I decided I couldn’t
any longer. I don’t know what you told my grandson about why i wasn’t picking
him up today. I just hope it was the truth whatever that is. Only you
know.
Like you wrote I don’t think we can ever be "friends’ again. It is
very sad because of course it will have an impact on my grandson all his
life.
Thank you EX, for creating HAVOC in the Golden family.

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jjjtripled

April 22, 2010

This is so sad. Why is it that divorce has to be so cruel most times? And, yes, it always the children who are the most hurt. My heart goes out to you.

Ginger, your DIL is not the one that has created havoc in the family. IF your son has a new girlfriend, already , most likely it is him that has created the havoc by deserting his family. Second, ONLY the DIL and only your son knows what really happened. You know only one side of the story. It is impossible for you to know what really happened. People have their secrets and you do not know all of them. We are not saying that only your son is at fault. We are saying that if your true concern is your grandson do this: 1. Stop blaming people, even if you truly believe that they are to blame. Why? Blaming will separate you from your grandson. That is the ONLY thing thatwill separate you from him –blaming DIL , blaming people. Why? If your DIL feels or knows that you blame her, then she will (rightfullyso) want to keep your grandson away from you. IF you stop blaming her, and just treat her and your grandson with respect, love and kind care THIS will bring you closer to your grandson. Closeness is what you want,correct? THEN you will be close to him. But you need to let the blame stop IF you

2. (continued) THINK of yourself as a young lady with a child who is now divorced or separated. Ask yourself this question, HONESTLY, Would you want your son, your child to be with someone who BLAMES you for wrecking havoc in a family? would you want your son to be with his grandmother if you knew that his grandmother was blaming you–and now , outwardly saying it out loud toyou? Only you know the answers. But know this, everyone reacts differently to life. This is just an opinion, only an opinion. But we do believe that as long as you blame your DIL no matter what happens, she probably will not feel comfortable letting you take her son even for a day. The healing part is something that you probably do not want to do or can not do. INVITE THEM BOTH for lunch or something. See them together, your grandson and your DIL and make that a pleasant lunch….yes pleasant. DO THIS for your grandson if love is truly in your heart. sorry, thsi is an honest opinion from your friend online

3. If you invite them both and manage to keep that date, do it again and again and soon you will see that you have your grandson for visits alone with you. this and prayer, these two things will put your smile back on your face. Sure you can keep blaming but that will get you nowhere. the courts have never ever been successful in bringing happiness to child’s faces or to grandmothers’ faces

4. ONLY you, and God can do that, so , be positive, stop blaming and smile you and your grandson will have LOTS of time together. soon.