RIGHT OR WRONG – OK
Tonight is the second time that I drove home from my son’s home upset. I’m probably wrong but what can I say. I just can’t stand the way his girlfriend is raising her kids and my grandson. I feel she is much too strict. Maybe the kids will be better off. I am too soft. Maybe I am also tired and cranky because it’s at night.
I took her son this afternoon. He is a delight. I took him to Dunkin for donuts. Then we went to the bowling alley so he could play at the arcade. Last time I insisted that we bowl first but this time I figured it’s my last time with him so whatever he wants is ok with me. He played a few games and so did I. At the end we played air hockey. I really enjoyed it and think he did too. We came back to my house so he could play CLUB PENGUIN. I started to make supper but in the end we went to McDonalds.
Then I drove him home. Before he could walk in the door his mother had him doing his homework. She told me that my son and his son was upstairs because my son was disciplining his son. SAY WHAT?????????????? I don’t know what he did. What got me most upset and tell me if I’m wrong is that she charged her son ten dollars because he lost his hat. Is she teaching him responsibility? Does she think that will change things? I think my grandson also had to pay for something. The girlfriend took her son in the bathroom for his bath and closed the door. I thought it was rude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am leaving soon. Why couldn’t she spend some time with me? Why close the door. Anyhow I said goodbye to the other two children and my son and LEFT!
I feel that she is a very strict disciplinarian. I guess I can’t understand as I never was. Maybe I should have been. I don’t think she remembers what being a child was like. Maybe her parents were strict. Anyhow I have to learn to accept that she does things different and there is nothing I can do. I certainly don’t want to discuss it with my son.
So now I am going to look through some albums to find pictures of my SIL as I want to make her a scrapbook when I’m away. I’ll be happy to get on the road. FLORIDA HERE I COME!
I do think she was rude and I can’t stand that people can’t have manners any more. On the other hand, I was very strict myself – I think it worked. I like who my children are now and their values and work ethic. I’m not giving myself all the credit – we got into beekeeping at a time when we needed them to be responsible, and yes, addult-like. On the other hand, I think it is hardest to be grandma-
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When we become grandmas, we would allow all sorts of things we didn’t allow our kids to do. Maybe it skips a generation — my daughter is way to lenient with her kids and I really hate that. I wish she was more strict with discipline and routine and homework — everything!
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it is hard to see kids disciplined severely and I am with you on that….it is doubly hard when its kids we love. I suggest you simply enjoy their company, and they enjoy yours, whenever possible…and let them have a little freedom. But kids do need boundaries…its really about how those boundaries are established and enforced that difficulties emerge. hugs P
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One thing my husband and I discussed when we learned we were going to be grandparents was our role in the rearing of our grandkids. We agreed that unless a child was being harmed or in danger, we would not interfere with the way our son & his wife chose to discipline their children. It’s very hard to keep our opinions to ourselves.
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I definitely think that charging a child ten dollars for losing a hat is being too strict….. maybe not if it’s a teenager, but these kids are younger than that! On the other hand, you are very fond of these kids and they are very nice kids, so maybe her strictness has something to do with that. It’s hard to say! hugs, Weesprite
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RYN: You are correct and you are wrong, lol. Here is the thing about grandparents and moms etc. It is OKAY what is happening. The kid’s mom is strict, that is good. You are not as stict. That is excellent. See that is why grandparents are here. They are here to give balance. Honor what your daughter and son say in their presence. And as long as you keep it safe and within boundaries , you have you opportunity to be NOT stict with your grandchildren. Instead of worrying about how strict they are, just give your grandchildren a place peace, a children’s place where they can be children, they can be at ease, perhaps less rules etc, than at your kids’ place. That is balance, and that is life. ENJOY instead of worrying about the difference. As long as there is no abuse in either home, then everything will be fine. ENJOY. so that’s your homework assignment, lol 1. Don’t worry. God tells us not to worry. If you get woried , then pray for a few minutes and then worry goes away. 2. ENJOY, enjoy enjoy. You write like you have a good time with the kids. Now keep on doing that. ENJOY. Don’t wo
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I don’t think she should have charged him 10 dollars for a lost hat. lol , however, suppose he lost a hundred hats in a month, lol, then a charge might be a good idea, perhaps a dollar a hat. lol… balance. balance and some balance. Don’t worry. It will all be fine. You know? If your grandson can afford a ten dollar charge, wow, the kid is rich lol…peace .
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IF, if you returned late Sunday night, and school was next day, then she was not rude. Lots of kids save their homework until Sunday night, and it is hours of work and then it is due next day. That might have been a reasonable thing to do, not rude. After all, if there was LOTS of homework, they will be staying up late with him, not you. So they have to put him to work when he comesin IF that was late Sunday night. That is just our opinion
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my parents made it a point to never ever punish me in front of people, and i do not do that to my kids and i get very uncomfortable when people have the audacity to punish their kids in front of me. plus yes she was harsh and rude. there are different ways to teach responsibility if he TRULY has a problem losing things. if not–then it happens to all of us-we all lose stuff at times
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i think that was rude that she went into the bathroom and shut the door without saying goodbye. but, what can you say when they’re adults. kids do need boundaries but i think charging them money when they lose things is over the top. they are kids after all. but, maybe her strictness is what makes them so wonderful? who knows? i keep my mouth shut when it comes to my daughter and son in law in disciplining the boys. take care,
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First off she definitely was rude. Second Children need discipline but it does not need to be quite that strict. If she is to much of a disciplinarian then the kids will rebel in ways she might not like. There needs to be a happy medium. Kids need to be kids but they can be taught how to behave properly and it does not take being such a strict disciplinarian. She needs to set rules but not to strict. She also should have been polite to you. She was rude and thoughtless. Love,
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