UPSET – OK
I am upset and not sure if I should be or not. Anyhow it doesn’t matter if I should or not be because I am. I was at my son’s house and his girlfriend started to tell me NOT to buy the children eight gifts each for Hanukah. She says the boys only play with Nintendo or Wii and her daughter only plays with Barbie. Well for many years I bought my children eight gifts and then started to give my grandson eight. I never had a complaint. I am not sure what her problem is. It’s exciting for the kids and even if they don’t like the present I am sure they have fun opening it.
I thought I would write her but changed my mind.
I bought her daughter a portable DVD player for her birthday next month. It cost me about 80 at Walmart. Well I am going to return it and buy her a Barbie. If that’s the only thing she plays with and that’s all she wants her to have so be it. It will be much cheaper.
I think I will still get my grandson eight and give it to his mother. The other two will get one thing or maybe just maybe I’ll give money so she can take them shopping. It will save me a lot of time and energy and expense.
My son and his girlfriend took the children to an amusement park. I said I would love to take the boys for their Hanukah present but they didn’t think it was a good idea. I am so tempted to take my grandson when he is with his mother but guess I won’t push it. But EIGHT for sure unless my son says something.
I already packed for our trip to Toronto. I still have to add my medication and computer but will do it in the morning. We will be leaving early tomorrow morning.
What a party pooper! Of course the kids want 8 presents, even if they are small. They are kids for goodness sakes!
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Have a safe trip!
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I don’t think anybody should dictate to another person what/how much/how often to give gifts. Gifts are not fulfillment of orders. They are from the heart. If the stepmother can’t appreciate that, she will teach the kids the wrong message about gifts. When kids receive a gift, it means they are loved. Who turns down love? She sounds like a control freak. She doesn’t OWN the kids. So ignore her!
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The only time I banned a gift was when a relative of mine wanted to give comix to my son. I saw the comix and saw that they were not for “children’ and my son was a child. (Comix these days –there are some adult ones, ones with lots and lots of gory violence etc, and I do not believe that children should be given gifts like that. the relative had not read the comix, and didn’t realizewhat it was about. But since I discovered that about comix, I did forbit gifts of comix unless they were ‘harmless’, like superman or spiderman . If someone wants to give a gift to a child, they should be allowed to give it as long as the gift is not harmful to the child. OR unless the child is being punished for something of a very serious nature, then gifting the child would defeat the punishment. That is my personal opinion about gifts. and children. for these holiday and holyday gifts that you want to give, they should be your own choice, as long as they are not harmful .
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You are very generous! It is quite forward of her to tell you what kinds of gifts to get her kids. I do know, though, that my stepmom Carol never visits my sister’s home without a gift for Sophie. Each time she brings something – a little pink bag, a necklace, something… my sister has mentioned to me that she doesnt’ really like this… that she doesn’t want Sophie to expect a gift eachtime she sees her grandmother. Also there ends up being lots more ‘stuff’ in their home… toys, games, plastic things that just take up space. They try to live a life without much ‘stuff’ so these regular gifts don’t fit that. But at the same time, she’d never say that to Carol – it would hurt her feelings and she means well.
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I would get them eight presents anyway! Who is she trying to be, Scrooge? Sheesh! hugs, Weesprite
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its it tradition to give eight gifts or is that just something you always do? It does sound a little extreme, especially as kids have so much these days. Why waste your money if they don’t want or need things? Instead…. Maybe you could give a gift to seven other children who have very little. hugs P
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Hmmm — I wonder what she meant. I don’t blame you for being upset – she is causing you to consider changing your whole tradition. I think perhaps you should try to talk to her about it. Even if it is not her tradition, it is yours and she should respect that. This is between you and your grandchildren and your desire to carry on this tradition in the family. She is screwing that up.
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Oh, my! I hope she’s not jealous? It may be a case of her family not putting as much effort and money into the celebration as you do, or a fear that her daughter wouldn’t be treated equally, or just a case of not having enouch tact to address her concerns with the kids’ attitudes with you. This would upset me, too! I think you should find a way to ask your son how he feels about your gift giving. I would try to do it in such a way that you don’t complain about what his girlfriend said. Instead, address it as a concern that there may be an issue you weren’t aware of, and that you are trying not to complicate the problem. Good Luck!
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she’s an ole grouch!!! she shouldn’t be telling you what you can and cannot buy. have a safe and fun trip. take care,
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So her children aren’t your biological grandchildren? Or are they your biological grandkids and she’s come in later? It sounds as if she’s afraid you’re trying to buy their affections away from her, and I’m sure that’s not your motive at all! The eight gifts thing is a tradition and they don’t have to be huge and elaborate. Maybe you need to sit down with her and have a quiet respectful talk aboutfamily traditions and how you’d like to include her in them… (huggles)
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That would upset me also if that is the tradition you have had for years now! Besides, they are gifts, how can she say no to gifts? Have a good trip in spite of this.
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I’d be ticked too. Do what you want and she can stuff it!
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Interesting entry, interesting comments. I think there might be a cultural difference between US attitudes and those in, at least, Australia. Here many of us feel that small children get overwhelmed by a mass of presents and it is far better to only give one, so that they can really enjoy it. With older children, there’s a belief that a wealth of presents encourages materialism. So I think you’dfind many Australians would agree with your son’s girlfriend. (Is she Australian, maybe?)
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traditions are a good thing. people who want to stop them make me nervous. you have a right to be upset. (seriously, who doesn’t like presents?)
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Is your son’s GF Jewish? Maybe she doesn’t get the 8 gift thing? I would do what you want, why should she dictate what you give your grandkids. She can buy them Barbie’s are Wii’s if she wants.
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I look at the amount of stuff my grandkids get at Christmas and it’s ridiculous! They get all excited about opening it all, but it’s set aside and forgotten about almost immediately. It’s such a waste. Maybe she is trying to teach her kids a different ethic than what seems to be prevalent. At any rate, she is the parent, and you should respect her wishes. Find another way to give to your grandchildren.
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