I STILL MISS YOU-read

I woke up tonight and all I can think about is you. Why did you have to go and die? I am sure if you were alive you would think I am selfish. You did not die on purpose. You would have wanted to live.
I missed you when I went to the scrap booking store in Burlington. You would have enjoyed it so much.
I miss you when hubby and I sit alone eating supper. If you were here it never would happen.
I miss you.
You were my one and only true friend. You were the only one who cared and took care of me. You made sure I was included in everything.
You would be so happy seeing me work on my quilting.
I miss you. No one will ever take your  place.
Life is dull without you making plans for the present and far into the future.
I have to tell you that I miss you. I am finding aging difficult. I get so depressed. I am so impatient and irritable. Last night the men played TEXAS HOLD ‘EM. I am sure if you were here the women would have gone out for supper but hubby and I ate alone. I was happy to spend the evening alone. I had had enough of company Thursday and Friday.
I miss you. Have I written it before?
Life scares me. Hubby does NOT hear so well. I just don’t know how I wll cope with our aging.
You would be proud of "our" daughter. She did fantastic at university last year. Can you believe it? Six a’s and a b. The only thing I don’t understand is why she doesn’t date or at least I don’t think so. Can she be a lesbian? I really wouldn’t care.
I am getting TOO old for grandchildren. I am getting to be a crochety old woman. Have I mentioned I have little patience and little tolerance for everyone?
Our egg teacher has been sick. I don’t know if she will ever be able to teach again. Watching everyone age is so difficult for me. I wish I could live in the present.
I am busy cleaning up our house. I am decluttering in a major way. I am busy dropping off books anywhere and everywhere.
I finally started to scrapbook again. I am doing two pages of "our" daughter in Israel. Maybe I will finish them this week.
Did I mention how much I miss you? I have no one to talk to.
Your hubby is so happy going out with his first wive’s sister. I wish I could talk to you. I would apologize for not understanding what you were going through living with him. I would ask you if I should stay friends with him. I feel like I am friends with my former enemies or should say yours but the women are friendly enough.
I am back to wanting to be left alone. Maybe because it is the middle of the night. I fell asleep very early so it’s two a.m. and here I am writing to you and crying.
I still haven’t decided what to do with my diary. If it takes too long I guess my kids won’t have it to read although they might be able to figure it out as I have downloaded it on here.
Son number one is still ALONE!!!! I guess he will remain a bachelor. He is the only one left in the business. Every month he is closing the doors next month. Whatever! He is old enough to make his own decisions.
Son number two is separated and living alone in a very nice condo. He is almost finished with school and has a job which he doesn’t like. He is an excellent father!!!!! He is probably dating but doesn’t talk to me about it anymore. I was upset when he started to date about a week after they separated.
DIL seems to be doing ok but who knows. She can’t run the senior home anymore so it is up for sale. At least everyone will get their money back.
OH! Friend! You would NOT believe but I am saving money. Yes you read it right. At the ripe old age of 65 I finally have a savings account with 600 in it. You might ask why I am saving and I would tell you I don’t know. For the future I guess and just because I got tired of being broke. Maybe I will use it for a trip. Who knows? It sure feels great! I am also putting my pension in a separate account and  I will use it to buy special things. I have 600 in there too. I have stopped shopping like a madwoman. No more CRAP from the dollar store. I have given our cleaning lady most of it. She will be married 28 years in the Fall so plans on taking all of September off. I think we will lose her soon! What will I do without her?
So many changes!
I want to move but of course hubby doesn’t. He’s probably just too lazy or is he just too old?  I am not sure what to do. Anyhow I am throwing out and reorganizing the house so it will be easier to move if we decide to.
Hubby’s brother just bought a condo.
You friends who go out to eat every night also moved into a rented condo. It seems to be the latest thing.
I am getting tired so will go back to sleep my friend. Know that I still miss you and probably always will. Thank you for being my friend and always always being there for me.