November 23, 2006

Next: SO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? READ THIS FIRST!!!!

A RANT AND A RAVE AND COMPLAINING

I am just so fed up with couples who get divorced especially if they have children. What is wrong with adults today? Can’t they make a commitment? Can’t they just get along?

Today my cousin was telling me about two of her nephews who got married last spring and are getting divorced already. One after two months!!!!!!????????? PLEASE!!!! Grow up people.

I don’t know what the answer is. Of course I don’t want couples to stay together if there is any kind of physical or emotional abuse.

Should couples get special counselling before they get married? Should they have to take certain courses before they get married? Should there be a penalty for getting divorced? Years ago there use to be shame when a couple got divorced? We have gone to the other extreme. Everything is acceptable. Kids are running wild with no respect for anyone. No one is at home looking after the children. They grow up with strangers and then alone with their keys tied around their neck.

I am so fed up with divorce. The kids suffer. The families suffer. Of course the couple suffers also.

So I think couples should have to take a year long course before they get married. The course would cover:

communication

compromise

commitment

discussion of future goals – how many children they want if any, where they want to live, what religion if any they will have in the house

meet each others families and get to know them better

understand they cannot change each other

understand they are making a lifelong commitment. Maybe this isn’t possible anymore because people live much longer then they use to

How to argue

How to talk to each other without putting the other person down

How to share house work

How will money be spent

How will the children be raised

Couples need to role play many different situations

Couples need to spend time together without SEX

Couples need to make a list of what they like/dislike about the other person. They must be made to understand they can’t change anyone. They need to see movies and/or plays of different situations and discuss how they would handle the specific situation.

They need to look around them at different marriages and discuss what they see that they think works or doesn’t.

They have to decide if the woman will work or stay home to raise their children.

Of course changes happen on a daily basis so couples MUST learn how to cope, how to compromise, how to give in once in awhile and how to treat each other with love and respect.

COUPLES SHOULD GO OUT ON A REAL DATE AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK.

COUPLES SHOULD MAKE A TIME TO TALK EVERYDAY SO THEY CAN SHARE THEIR DAY, THEIR WORRIES ETC.

I don’t care if my ideas are unrealistic. Look at the alternative. Look at all the broken homes. Look at the devastation all around. Look at people who are divorced and what they have to go through.

WEDDINGS??? NO WAY. Go to a judge and get married in a small room with immediate family. Forget about large expensive unnecessary weddings. Is this why some women get married??? To have their dream wedding? A total waste of energy and money. get married in the backyard. Invite people who are very important to both of you. Not the people who just live next door. Not the women or men in the office.

Couples should write their own vows and then sign them.

The "judge" should ask those who are close to the couple what they think about the marriage.

There should be CLEAR rules about the path to a marriage. It shouldn’t just be about getting a license. There should be a list of "things" a couple has to do before they can get married.

Click Here to get a Post-It from pYzam.com!

Click Here to get a Post-It from pYzam.com!

Jasmine Michelle

November 24, 2006

I agree with a lot of this. love,

Yes, marriage is very difficult with the wrong person, I’m sure. I have been married for 21 years to the right person and we are very lucky.

emiliasdance

I wrote a post for you. Please stop by to read it.

TheWoodsprite

I agree with everything you said here. Maybe couples should have to take a course. Gosh, people have to take a class to get a driver’s license or a hunting license!! Surely getting married is “just” as important? And I do wonder, too, if some people get married more for the excitement and feeling of importance the big wedding gives them. Big weddings are a waste of everyone’s time, energy, and money. hugs, Weesprite

country pharm girl

November 25, 2006

I totally agree. I may be old fashioned but I think living together before marriage is wrong too. People shouldn’t have sex until they get married. Sometimes I think that people get married because the sex is good and then when it gets old they have nothing to fall back on. Your entry reminds me of how blessed I am to have married the love of my life and stay married for 18 years. Our childrenare very lucky too. They think we never fight (my daughter told her friend this..My mom and dad never fight) When my kids say their prayers at night they always say “thank you for the wonderful family” I would go through hell to save my marriage for the benefit of my kids.

Such good points! YES, premarital “classes” and pre-divorce requirements, too. Classes, counselling, something so it isn’t so easy.

jjumpingj

We HAD to have counselling to get married in our Church. At the end of counselling, our Pastor refused to marry one couple because they were simply not ready and had too many differences. We other engaged couples could all see it through the 10 sessions. Couselling should be mandatory.