June 10, 2005

LOOKING BACK – ok

Looking back I wonder why:

I had such a hard time watching my mother go downhill. I just couldn’t cope. Why did I think of her as a burden instead of caring for my mother in a loving way? I did care for her but I was miserable watching her decline.

I could never confront anyone and still have a hard time

I use to sleep sooooooooo late on the weekends and my hubby and friends said nothing. When I had foster children they couldn’t breathe till I got up at one or two or even later.

I had a hard time being a friend and still don’t have too many friends and I HATE to call anyone

I was always different. I have little interest in clothes, furniture etc.

I always had little patience and very irritable.

I never had a close relationship with my brother and sister. I know they are five and ten years older. Why did I never call, invite etc?

Now I am much better but I still have so many hangups.

TheWoodsprite

June 11, 2005

Some of this sounds so much like me! And many times I have wondered “why the hell couldn’t I have just been like everybody else????” Now,though, I kinda like just being ME. I like you being you, too, even though I only know you through your writing. You sound just fine to me! hugs, Weesprite

I wonder how many actually can cope with a parent’s aging — I know I can’t! This may go on for awhile too… hard to think about. Yes, I do think most if not all of us FEEL different. I don’t think social things come easy – and I certainly never did care about clothes, shopping… any of that stuff.

offmychest

Hey just loosen up a little. Be like me. I don’t give a f*ck anymore LOL.

songbird

I’ve found it takes such a long time to outgrow, or recover from, all the hang-ups we gather like moss on a rolling stone as we grow up and older. I like myself now more than I used to….but sometimes that doesn’t help. Hang in there.. Hugs

Galaga

I know what you mean about the parent thing.

Lucky Lady

June 12, 2005

I hope you reach a point where you can reach out to your family & your husband. I lift you up in prayer for goodness & kindness to come your way & from you.

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

Have a very peaceful day today.

saydimae

Gosh, you sound like me!

Gypsy Spirit

you sound pretty normal……so… is this ‘National Beat-yourself-up Day’? I think we all have regrets about the way we treated our mums when we were growing up…I know I do… hugs and love

Marion Blackberries

June 13, 2005

With me,it was a means of escape.The world just seemed to frightening for me to deal with & so I withdrew into my books.What’s great about you is that you realize all this & are trying to change.I finally changed when I went to college;others forced me out of my shell & into the real world.I’ve never outgrown my need to escape though & have to be watchful all the time.Know I understand.LuvYOU,