Cats and Dogs

I’ve been reading Matt Logelin’s blog – http://www.mattlogelin.com/ – from beginning to end. His wife had a baby and 27 hours after she delivered, she died from an embolism. Matt began a grief journey at the age of 30 with a brand new preemie baby girl to take care of.

He started a foundation and wrote a book, “Two Kisses for Maddy,” Matt and his wife were originally from the Twin Cities area. They moved to Los Angeles and he still lives there.

He’s been on Oprah and other shows. People Magazine did a story about him.

Matt is an amazing guy.

His grief journey started a month after mine, on March 25, 2008. I started reading his blog, oh, maybe about six months later, and have followed it sporadically ever since.

I got curious and I was bored at work, so I began reading his blog from the first entry.

Oh, and he’s an excellent photographer as well.

Similarities? Well, even though we’re almost 20 years apart in age and he has a young daughter and I have almost teenaged grandchildren, so it’s amazing how grief can take some of the same twists and turns for people. Oh, the turns might be a little tighter for some or the track a little faster for others, but it seems like there are some very common themes as we try to reassemble our lives after losing a loved one.

Matt didn’t like being alone after Liz died. A lot of us don’t like being alone. There’s a lot of anxiety associated with being with our own thoughts after a death. We can get a little crazy. Matt went out morning, noon, and night to various restaurants with almost anyone who offered to go with him.

I’m a natural introvert, so I go inward to process a cataclysmic event, but lots of people in beginning grief need almost the constant presence of others.

He talked a lot to other about Liz’s death story. I talked about Ray’s death story, too, and Joe and I for a while constantly relived the deaths of our spouses. I think that’s something we need to do in order to get our brains to lay down the tracks that our spouse is really and truly dead. It’s not an illusion as much as wish it was. If we tell the story enough, then we’ll believe it and accept the death and begin the process of rebuilding our lives alone.

Time passes and then we just would rather not bring it up anymore or tell a stranger a very abbreviated version of the death story.

Matt had the up days and the down days. He got an amazing amount of support from his friends and family, as well as people who read his blog.

Out of that support grew the foundation which helps other families affected by death.

And his daughter looks almost exactly like her mother. Amazing.

The part of his blog I enjoyed the most was the love story. Matt and Liz were high school sweethearts who had a long distance relationship while in college and on their jobs. Both of them traveled a lot for their work.

But their love endured and ended all too soon.

It’s a rainy day AGAIN. What’s up with that? I think it’s a good day to head to Barnes and Noble and buy Matt’s book.

My new friend John and I had coffee this week, on a rainy night in Minnesota. The rain theme seems to stay the same and never moves to a sunny day theme.

And we kissed for the first time on Grand Avenue’s sidewalk.

We had dinner last night at the Vina, a Vietnamese restaurant, with my family. He met my grandsons, son, son’s significant other, and son’s significant other’s cute baby.

Then minus significant other and baby, we walked to the movie theater and saw “Super 8,” which was a good movie. Not as good as “ET” or “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” or “Alien,” but good enough for a summer movie.

It went well and we all had a great time.

John and I had a glass of wine while sitting on my deck after we got home. We enjoyed some conversation and watched the lightning show as it moved closer and closer to the Twin Cities.

He went home and I went to bed ALONE, except I had Shadow for company.

Joe got shingles last weekend. We went to Urgent Care, where we got drugs and stuff for it. But his eye was swelling shut and his face was getting black and blue, so he went into the hospital for a couple of days. He’s doing better, but he’s still not feeling very well. Or looking very well. He looks ewwwwww!!!!

My older grandson is worried about the impending state shutdown slated for July 1. He’s worried about the funding for schools. He LOVES school and almost hates summer vacation.

Lots of people are worried about the state shutdown, because no one knows what it is going be affected. And then the ripple effect on other businesses.

This crappy summer continues. Rain, cool weather, shingles, and state shutdowns (maybe). It just has to get better.