Apologies

First and foremost, I must apologize for not writing again for so long!  I have been meaning to get on here and see what everyone thought, but I’ve been really busy, still, and have actually been getting to bed earlier and trying to get enough sleep!  I’ve been lacking in that department for a while, and my body is not liking it one bit.

Now on to the question everyone has been asking!

I have not made up my mind yet regarding the job in Iraq.  I have still been waiting for a response from my younger brother, who, as you all probably know by now, is over there as I type this, and has been for almost a year now.  His opinion is going to hold a lot of weight in my decision.  I do want to thank everyone for their truly heartfelt opinions!  It is great to know that I am loved. 

Intermission:  I just took a swig off a beer, and MAN, you wouldn’t believe how great it tasted!  I think, no, I KNOW exactly what it tasted like!  It tasted like MORE!  🙂  So, I think I will have to just take another swig now.  AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!  Yes, it still tasted good!  🙂

Meanwhile, back in the conversation…

Within myself, I have been going back and forth with my decision.  Sometimes I think of how great it would be to be debt free, with money in the bank.  Then, at other times, I think about everything I am reading that is going on over there.  But then I turn around my thoughts and think about WHY they are printing that, and about all of the things that they DON’T print.  The statistics are very good that I would come home safely, should I go.  After all, my brother is over there, and has been there through the thick of it, and he is fine, albeit a little skinnier, which wouldn’t hurt me all that much, now would it?  LOL  Also, out of ALL the people he knows over there, only 2 people from the ND National Guard have been killed.  I don’t know that any others have even been injured.  I know he knew the one killed last month, but I think he had only met the other one on one occasion.  I have had people tell me they think I should go, and I have had people tell me they think I shouldn’t go.  Nobody has really been on the fence with this one.  It’s either YES, or NO, emphatically, either way.  The closest thing to being on the fence was my cousin and great friend, Gift of Angels.  She hardly thought about it at all, and said, “Do I want you to go?  NO!  Would I go if I were in your shoes?  YES!!”  In this response, I understood that she loved me and would worry about me the entire time I would be over there, yet agreed that it would be good for me financially to go, especially after everything I’ve been through in the past couple years. 

So, with that in mind, I have to wonder, out of all the responses, how many of you were thinking about not wanting me to go, and how many were thinking about whether you would go, should you be in my shoes?  Don’t get me wrong, I understand either way.  I don’t “discount” your feelings at all, if I decide to go.  If I decide to go, I would be doing it strictly on the basis that I think it would be the best thing for me to do at this time.  If I don’t, it will be because I think it would be too great a risk.  Having been in Saudi Arabia and Turkey before, I have a pretty good idea what the culture would be like.  I am not concerned with that part of it at all.  The whole “warzone” thing is something I can not allow myself to worry about, should I decide to go, because at that point, it is entirely in God’s hands.  If He decides it is time for me to come home, then I will go, whether I am in Iraq, making lots of money, or here in Virginia, working my fingers to the bone just to stay afloat and keep above water.  When I moved to Missouri, I was told by many that I was crazy, and I shouldn’t go.  Of course, on so many counts, they were right with that decision.  But, I don’t regret having done it.  Sure, it would have been better had I known the outcome before I left, but I have yet to hone my skills in foreseeing the future.  I probably would have still gone, just not rented such an expensive apartment, and probably not have taken all of my belongings out there.  

Basically, everyone, I have just used quite a bit of time to tell you all that I still am no further along in the process than I was before I asked you last time.  I do want to thank you all for your opinions, though! 

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February 13, 2004

There was this guy on “Blind Date” tonight…what? Oh, no, I don’t watch that garbage, Ringo changed the channel when I went to the kitchen for popcorn…anyway, he looked SOOOO much like you, except he was kissing girls…which is something I’ve never seen you do. He sure was cute though!

It’s a tough decision, but you’ll make the right one. Glad you’re doing ok 🙂

KK
February 14, 2004

I do wish you wouldn’t apologize for not writing…you are busy, you write when you can, it is the same with all of us. I don’t think I would go if I were in your shoes, but I’m not you. I’m risk-averse. I don’t even like going fast on or in anything less sturdy than a car. If you feel the risk is less than the reward, than I think you should go. (c)

KK
February 14, 2004

(c) It is a unique opportunity, a chance not many would take even if offered. I love the thought of taking unique opportunities, and I love even more the people with big enough hearts and big enough minds to take them when offered.

February 15, 2004

Sunshinefriend…this a decision only you can make. Of course, if it were up to me, your brother would COME HOME with all our guys and peace and love would live hand in hand. Alas…I know that’s a dream. If you DO go, hug your brother, and any other soldier you meet, for me…Okay?? And take care. Warm hugs to you..

February 17, 2004

You hit the nail right on the head (I hope you missed your thumb) 🙂 It is in His hands. We don’t have a choice in it. You know that I love you and if you ever have to wonder about that just ask me!