Lazy Day…

…which is odd for a Monday, but with no school and a lot of businesses closed, it just seems the thing. Hubs and I worked all weekend on a finishing project, wish he could have the day off too but I imagine he’s at his desk getting bombarded with ‘tragedies’ only he can fix. Poor guy. Sucks to be him. *snort* Too lazy to be sympathetic here at the homefront. *w*

I’m better, much, and thank you for your encouragement. It does seem to be part weather/time of the year-and it was good to know I wasn’t the only one in such a state. Didn’t help that I was out of Nuerontin and my doc didn’t call in the prescr. for 6 days. I don’t know what I’d do w/o Cub pharmacy who floated me some free ones finally. Oy.

*note to self: call and chew out Dr. H——, today!*

I also got some sleep, which helped tremendously. No small thing that, ask any insomniac. But also, I simply think that, from time to time, we all have those times. Mom has always said that it’s because we are getting ready to grow, go into a new stage. It seems to be true, always has at any rate. But even so, I like that she’s said it because it’s just good to have a reason! I’m one of those who ‘has to have a reason’ people. If I know the reason, then I’m better. If I know the reason it’s not snowing, or the sun isn’t as bright or my car is running this way…to name a (very) few things, then I’m ok.

Apparently I read/heard “there’s a reason for everything” early on in my life and it’s stuck like glue, now I cannot relax until I know the reason. Heh.

Logan had his 2nd set of shots on Fri. Owie. 2 in each leg. Seems terribly harsh at his age…or any. Anyway, he was fine, fussy and tired, but fine afterwards. Yesterday they were out here for dinner and he was his smiling and lovable and darling and precious (OK, I’ll stop) self. He’s getting so big. He now weighs 13 lbs and is 25″ long-exactly what his mommy was at this same age.

*back* Sorry, I’ve been sitting here grinnin’ and looking moony I’m sure, for the last 5 minutes just thinking about him.

It’s funny, I adored my children and loved them up to pieces but I was much more matter of fact w/ them-no, that’s not right, but you get the gist don’t you? For one thing, I didn’t have the time (or the temperament) to just sit about all day and moon over them. Well of course, I mean, when they are yours, your thinking and worrying and planning for a trillion things. In fact I thought those mothers that did, were a touch ‘off’, you know? Out of touch with reality. *L* With Logan all I need to do with him is simply love him. So now when I’m w/ him I’m the one ‘out of touch’…and I love it. I’ll never be the type to say quietly and oh so sweetly “Now Logan, remember we don’t hit so and so, we *love* them”, but this time I can just grin at Brie and let her deal with it!

But it’s more than that, I’m at a different point in my life-my self. More calmer, not feeling so much pressure or what have you to *be* a certain way. To grow up, be responsible, etc. All the stuff we worry so much about when we’re just starting out. I’m happy with myself pretty much. (My husband would fall down laughing if he read that.) Oh ok, that might be stretching it, I’ll always think I can do better, but I’m not so rigid about it. I do *not* miss that at all. That has a lot to do with it too. (altho’ I see I still I have to have a REASON I’m this way w/ Logan. *rolls eyes* That is never going to change evidently.)

I’ve got to go and call mom this morning. My dad is still not feeling well at all. Now he has shingles! A very painful, neurological virus. He hadn’t recovered from the bronchitis before getting this now. Poor papa. *sigh* As they say, the lst half we worry about our kids, then the next-our parents.

Dad was so weak, mom had to help him get out of the chair. That just seems so impossible, even now. I mean-Dad?! Mom is about at her wits end also, she’s so tied down, she’s way too hyper to be able to take that for long. She does it, gracefully, but it wears on her. So the last time I spoke with them, 5 days ago, they both sounded tired. In good spirits, of course, they rarely show anything less to us kids, but tired underneath.

When mom was my age, she had me-age 10 and Rich-age 8. I do not know how she did it. She was a mother of 4, the 2 youngest 11 and 9 and a grandmother at 41. And dad was 43. Ei Yi Yi. No damn wonder they sound tired. ! (Don’t ask me where that thought came from, it just popped into my head and since I was writing here w/o direction, flowed right out.)

Anyway, I’m going to call now, and hopefully dad is feeling better. Last week, part of my sadness, was that I didn’t know if he ever would feel better. I couldn’t bear the thought, that such a vigorous, active man all his life, would now have to face this for the last years of his life. I still cannot. But my optimism has righted itself into the possibility that he won’t have to. Once they get ahold of his kidney disease and it’s being treated correctly and thus controlled, he’ll be so much better. Whether that’s optimism, or just enough to be wishful thinking, it doesn’t matter. What matters is the outlook isn’t so grim in my mind. Certain things, I just can’t face until I’m ready. Certain things, maybe we just don’t have to right away either.

Well, if I’ve made a whit of sense in this entire entry I’ll be surprised. What this is mostly random thoughts, written as I thought them. I hadn’t planned on writing at all, but it seems I beat almost everyone here today -and had no choice.

Have a great day all, and write for pity’s sake!! *g*