Second Son

I got family weddings out of chronological order here. My 32 year-old younger son (middle child), Jake, is getting married on August 16. His first marriage; third engagement. Her second marriage; no kids.

As with my daughter’s fiancé, we could not be more pleased with the pairing. His previous two fiancés – uh…not so much. The first slept around on him and the second was the proverbial “trophy” girlfriend who happened to also be the queen of drama queens and pouted most of the time – none of us could be around her (or them together) very long. All in the family have put Jake on notice that if he screws this one up, she (Ronnie) stays in the family and he is out. She is a very attractive RN with personality plus – always laughing and fun to be around. She fits us well.

As I alluded to in my last entry, Jake proposed to her in character – he’s a career salesman. There were lots of friends and out-of-state family (hers as well) around as he had planned for the surprise to all except her father, whom he had asked for Ronnie’s hand. He was very comfortable center-stage, taking a knee at a large party he hosted in his home. We knew very early in his life that he was destined to be a salesman. Our first inclination occurred in either his kindergarten or first grade year. We got a phone call from our friends next door who were laughing hysterically for being his very first mark. Seems Jake was going door-to-door in our cul-de-sac selling…his own school pictures – ten cents apiece. There were so many left over, he figured certainly there was a market for them. This speaks to his self-image too – you have to be confident in sales. He is that. Confident without being cocky (but vain in his appearance). And he has all the other attributes needed to be successful in sales: gregarious, charming, funny, and good-looking. This last characteristic is easy for most parents to say and think without it necessarily being true, but this fact has been validated too often by others – he has never been without a girlfriend (or fiancé of late) or not had someone pursuing him (my daughter discovered some of her “friends” in school were always up for sleepovers at our house but never theirs) and to this day when I introduce him to my female friends or co-workers, they turn cougar before my very eyes.

Jake and I have always had a close relationship – not always a positive one, but always close. He was a real handful growing up and was constantly in trouble at school. As the primary disciplinary parent, I got to know his teachers and school administrators very well. One school principal and I met at least once a week for a few years I think. I dubbed her Sister Hitler since she cut him no slack whatsoever. But Jake and I got through the rough times and he now readily acknowledges that he needed my heavy hand during those formative years and without it, he would not have become the man he is today. And since high school, he has always sought my advice on most everything it seems. One of his calls from college:

“Dad, I have a bump on my dick. Should I be worried?”

“I dunno, Jake. Have you had unprotected sex lately?”

“Just once.”

“Well I think you need to see the doctor then. And you need to stop having unprotected sex too, you dumbass”

I cite that example because as best I can recall, in the thirty-something years he has solicited and I have provided advice, this was the ONLY time EVER that he actually took it. He saw a doctor and fortunately it was nothing serious. On all other occasions Jake has asked my advice and then done what he wanted anyway – whatever he had already decided to do before he talked to me. It’s aggravating as hell. More often than not, he should have taken my counsel, but he chooses to learn the hard way.

So it was when he asked me what I thought about their wedding plans.

That exchange will follow.