My Friends All Know This Stuff About Me Already

Read through the comments below about your friend and then make sure you read the instructions at the bottom. Have fun!

1. What time is it now? Time for me to take this silly survey obviously.

2. Name as it appears on birth certificate: George Clooney (I changed it when I was a teenager because I thought it sounded too goofy to chicks).

3. Nicknames: douche bag, jackass, shitforbrains…so many nicknames, so little room to type them in.

4. Piercings? I REALLY don’t think you want to go there…

5. Eye color: Dunno. What color would you call bloodshot?

6. Place of birth: Wherever my mother was at the time.

7. Favorite food: Beer. Has all the major food groups you know.

8. Ever been to California? Well I never been to California, But I kinda like the music, Say the ladies are insane there, And they sure know how to use it, The don’t abuse it, Never gonna lose it, I can’t refuse it.

9. Ever been toilet papering? Once a day minimum (more if I’ve had a lot of cofee to drink)

10. Love someone so much it made you cry? Yes. Angelina Jolie. But only when she spanks me harder than usual.

11. Been in a car accident? Mom said I WAS a car accident. Something about she and Dad in the old ’48 Ford…

12. Croutons or Bacon Bits: I hate making such major life decisions so usually purchase croutons laced with Bacon Bits.

13. Favorite day of the week? Hump day of course.

14. Favorite restaurant: Alice’s. You can get anything you want at Alice’s restaurant doncha know.

15. Favorite flower: Pillsbury

16. Favorite sport to watch: Wimmins mud rassling.

17. Favorite ADULT BEVERAGE: Beer in a plain brown wrapper so nobody can tell I’m drinking an “adult” beverage.

18. Favorite ice cream: Beer. (It’s hard to find, but I will one day -it’s out there). Kinda like Linus’s Great Pumpkin you know.

19. Disney or Warner Brothers: Pu-leeeze. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella are all hotties while Petunia Pig is just a …porker.

20. Favorite Fast Food restaurant: I’ve heard a rumor they actually serve food in Hooters so I guess that is my final answer.

21. What color is your bedroom carpet? Don’t remember. I’ve been banished from the bedroom for so long I’ve forgotten.

22. What’s under your bed? The boogeyman. He’s been there for as long as I can remember.

23. How many times did you fail your driver’s test? There’s a test?

24. Before this, who did you get your last personal e-mail from? Jimmy Hoffa. He said he heard I was looking for him.

25. What do you do most often when you are bored? Apparently answer surveys.

26. What is your bedtime? Depends upon what you have in mind.

27. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest? The one who replies first.

28. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? The one who doesn’t reply at all.

29. Favorite TV show: Wimmin Mud Rassling (it’s pay-per-view, but it’s worth it!!)

30. Last person you went out to dinner with: Master (rather than Mr. – he’s old school) Card.

31. Ford or Chevy? Never thought too much about either Harrison or Chase to tell you the truth.

32. What are you listening to right now? The same voice I hear day in and day out telling me not to ever stop looking for Jimmy Hoffa.

33. What is your favorite color? Leather with silver studs and a matching dominatrix suit. Color? Oh…COLOR. I thought you said COLLAR. Never mind.

34. Lake, ocean, or river? I get it. We’re playing Jeopardy now. I’ve nailed this one: What is made up of water?

35. Answer this one only if you want to – do you have
any tattoos? See #4 above. It was a two-for-one deal.

36. Time you finished this e-mail? Hey…I’m not finished yet…

37. Have you ever run out of gas? See…tolja I wasn’t finished. Yes. Whenever my Mexican food low light goes on.

38. Cats or dogs? All that don’t belong to me.

Return directions: Now, here’s what you’re supposed to do…and please do not spoil the fun. Copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste it onto a new e-mail that you will send. Change all of the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you, the theory is that you will learn a lot of little-known facts about those who know you. Remember to send it back to the person who sent it to you.

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hehehe…I’m gonna spoil the fun and not follow the directions…I wonder if something bad is going to happen to me within ten days?