In a “Family” Sort of Way
Ive written here often of my old friends from high school/college/military with whom I have remained in contact for forty years. The seven of us all meet annually at the Funny Farm deep-woods camp owned by one and combinations of the seven meet throughout the year on other occasions football games, other reunions, etc. We all share a lot in common of course, but I have been an outsider in one respect. I am the only one of the seven who is not a grandfather.
That fact has never really bothered me. I figured it would happen when and if it will, but I have been quite surprised at the impacts their grandchildren have had on these six macho men. They melt with sensitivity as they tell stories of their grandkids and pass around their most current pictures. Of course they all (as all grandparents do in my experience) revel in the pure enjoyment of the children for whom they have no primary care or maintenance responsibilities.
And then came this past Christmas at my house.
As with most family traditions I suppose, major life events are shared with the family at this time of year whenever possible at the only time extended family seems to gather consistently. So it was this year with us.
As my family (including my childrens grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins, and one girlfriend) gathered around the Christmas tree for the opening of gifts, my middle son, Jake, insisted on presenting the first two gifts to my wife and me and insisted they we open them simultaneously. He presented us each with identical shirt-sized featherweight wrapped boxes. We proceeded to open them together and I dug though an inordinate amount of tissue paper, nearly discarding the small 3×5 flimsy piece of paper along with the wrappings. Upon closer look, however, it gave the appearance of an inkblot on a Rorschach test. Upon even closer look, however, it gave the appearance of a perfectly formed fetus. It was a print from a sonogram.
Well. All that followed took place in the matter of minutes Im sure, but the proverbial time stood still phenomenon certainly applied. My first glance was to Jake and his slight grin and barely discernable head nod confirmed I saw correctly. My second glance was to his girlfriend of two years whose eyes begged for response. My third glance was to my cradle-Catholic and ultra-traditional wife whose hand held the same print and whose countenance spoke get that headlight out of my eyes. During all three glances there was complete silence in the room and that silence hovered for about three more hours (or so it seemed). All eyes were on me the patriarch awaiting my reaction. I had to do something.
Soooo . I got up from my recliner, hollered Congratulations!! and gave my son a big old bear hug. I then turned to the seated mother-to-be, leaned over, and gave her a much more tender hug, conceding to her condition and all. As I turned back to my son to get the details the when specifically (since I already knew the how) my sons slight grin had developed into an ear-to-ear beam and he blurted Gotcha.
Sonofabitch!!
The room exploded with laughter. They were all in on it. Every single one of them. Seems he and girlfriend had borrowed the print from friends – an expectant couple.
He is his fathers son. Set me up masterfully.
Next year his ass is MINE!!
And here I was going to leave a nasty jealous note cuz I have no grandbabies but…. you poor thing. Not that you don’t deserve it! Time to pay for all those jokes you pulled.
Warning Comment
Oh my GOD. That is the greatest thing ever!!! I did something similar to my now ex-husband after he got his vasectomy. I gave him a little card with a small bouquet of flowers that said on the front “Guess who’s pregnant!” He nearly had a heart attack before he had a chance to open the card and see the joke! :}
Warning Comment
that was so very wrong!
Warning Comment
oh man! I can’t wait to hear about the revenge.
Warning Comment
Oh man, I was going all soft and melty and hoping the Grandma to be would take it well.*shudder* I’m glad I’m not your son. Just saying….
Warning Comment
Awww, so sweet. See, this is why I love reading about yoru family!! Congrats gramps! Heh.
Warning Comment
Oh, man, I was all set to type a big ole “CONGRATS!” note. You’re just as bad as him. We all know where he gets it, you know. Yes, I’m sure you do. It’s a terrible trick to play. Did his mom know as well?? ‘Cause that would have been really cruel to her, I think.
Warning Comment
good for him! ryn: i like it when people play Devils advocate but in this case i am afraid you are wrong. my brothers absence was from lack of interest.
Warning Comment
Holy cow.. for a second there… He got me too!
Warning Comment
omg another phaedrus has arisen!
Warning Comment
ohmy..randoming through..I was getting all misty eyed..heh
Warning Comment
There is no way – NO way – you can beat that…. Sucka is written all over your forehead. That boy is brillant!! LOL
Warning Comment
Yeah, just wait until he really has kids, then the joke is on him!
Warning Comment
LMAO! Jake IS his Father’s son. You taught him well. Ummm…maybe too well? You have 8 months to come up with a better-un. And you will! LWM 143
Warning Comment
ryn: or have a height challenged girlfriend.
Warning Comment
RYN: I was born on DM! WOOHOO! Actually, we were in San Angelo near Goodfellow, but not in relation to the service. Now, we are near Fort Huachuca, but also not in relation to the service. I suppose I am metaphysically attracted to camoflauge.
Warning Comment
RYNRMyNRYN, or whatever order in which it goes.. Cochise College (or local community college) holds many of its classes on the base, including those I am about to start taking. I’m thinking it has much to do with the fact it is a training base filled with young servicemen and their families. As for liking hunters, I’m SO not into the fact they wear doe pee as perfume..eww.
Warning Comment
I don’t know………This one is going to be very hard to beat. Will you keep us informed of plans as they develop?
Warning Comment
I love it. They got the master of deception. You really do owe them one next year.
Warning Comment
🙂
Warning Comment
RYN: No really! I’d much rather be in bare feet or just in socks (in winter). I am so not a shoe-o-phile. Honest.
Warning Comment
RYoN: I appreciate you saying so. I had a hard time trying not to feel selfish about the divorcec, because honestly, I really wanted a chance to feel loved, and I didn’t feel that way. I realized that I missed what I saw when I was a child, and I really really want my children to know what to look for. Maybe that will break the divorce cycle. I hope so.
Warning Comment
(c) because I am determined that I will never be divorced again. If I get the chance to be married again, I am determined it will be because I’ve found the right person, and that all the good stuff is there to get through the hard times.
Warning Comment
ryn: I love you.
Warning Comment
🙂
Warning Comment
ryn THANKS
Warning Comment
RYN: Yeah…. I’ve said those words too… Altho my kids are younger, so I have to stop myself in mid ‘shit’ and I end up saying something like “shtuff” :}
Warning Comment
RYN: Exactly! I was wondering where you’d been!!
Warning Comment
RYN: Work, schmurk. 😉
Warning Comment
Serves ya right that your son is a chip off the old block! 😀 ryn: I am roaring.
Warning Comment
RYN The Picture is big not me 150 thank you
Warning Comment
Ahh..I like your writing (not just your notes). Hoping to see more soon… RYN: “I’ll turn in their times if that would help. Huh? Mindwiped~~>
Warning Comment
Happy St. Paddy’s Day! Enjoy your green Buds tonight! LWM 143
Warning Comment
RYN: You know.. if a girl is going to be ogled, it’s somewhat of an honor to be ogled by you. 😉
Warning Comment
RYN: You know, I’d have thought you’d have been nicer on an officially sanctioned get plowed day!
Warning Comment
Oh, man, P! You never fail to make me laugh! Thanks.
Warning Comment
From crying to laughing in 5 seconds. Glad I hit this one on the fly by.
Warning Comment
That was AWESOME! LOL. I was just curious about what men write in journals and stumbled upon your ingenious diary name and thought I would stop on in for a look. Had a good laugh while I was at it too! hehe.
Warning Comment
lol This was great! Thanks for sharing
Warning Comment
You guys are disturbed. But in a good way. 🙂 And when the time comes–you’ll be such a wonderful grandfather.
Warning Comment
ha ha ha….he is his father’s son! Was your wife in on it too or was she tricked as well??
Warning Comment
WoW…..that’s a really cool story dude.
Warning Comment