awkward

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I decided to take my family to the downtown market we have last night.   The weather was gorgeous and it is fun, with various booths and a farmer’s market and music and old cars to suit the tastes of my J.   Kooky didn’t love it or anything, but it was alright.   We brought a friend that she is highly attached to and was upset when she was not in our sights.

And then I saw my brother, the MIA one.   He was in his tow truck with some chick, and I am assuming it was his GF that he cheated on the wife with and ditched his family.   Who knows?   I felt so strange walking by the truck with the niece he does NOT even know exists in any way, going back to pregnancy.   I called my parents and my mom begged me to talk to him.   I brought up his ditching his daughter and trying not to pay support for her, and she suggested that I forget about that for a moment and look at his as just my brother.   I agreed and hung up, but I couldn’t do it.   I have so little respect for him, brother or no.   I want to punch him in the face, not go up and be all friendly.   Kooky doesn’t know my other brother due to his bad habits, so what kind of loss for her is it not to know her other bad uncle?   We walked back, and I was alone with Kooky while J drooled at many an old car.   I could see my brother looking at me and I just went along my way.   He never approached me and seemed to disappear further into the cab of his vehicle as if to hide.   I was hurt, I admit.   How can he not want to meet my gorgeous little lass?   But as J put it last night, if he does not care about his own daughter, why would he care about mine?   I went home as she was acting up a slight bit, and my sister called.   Our friend had also seen him and he was really making an effort to hide from them.   SIGHS

So sad.