I Just Want to Hide

I had a melancholy day. Today my sadness lasted most of the day, well I still feel sad. I spent most of my day in contemplating mode, laying on the couch and thinking;

"What am I doing with my life?",
"Why are so many celebrities pregnant right now, why isn’t it us again?"
"Why didn’t Matt get that job?"

By the afternoon I was starting to feel better and we had a friend come over.I just wanted to hide. We just talked, about life. Which makes me only think more attentively and thoughtfully about my life, Matt’s life and Callum’s. I can’t tell you why I feel this way, and why I feel it, because deep down I don’t know myself. I try to find reasons why I would feel so melancholy but I don’t have any answers anymore. I feel this way very day. I wake in the morning feeling like this. I feel like I have fallen behind and that there is no place for me here. No longer in existence, a part of me vanished last year……
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Don’t worry, It’s just a hard day and I know that it’s normal, I know I have tomorrow coming and thats what I have to look forward too. Because today won’t matter tomorrow…