out of ideas.

i dont know what to use as a tittle anymore. im fresh out of ideas.

i hate my life so much. im tired of living it. i wish it would just get better or end.

work sucks so bad lately. its not even funny. its just shitty. i honestly think that it wouldnt be so bad if we actually had some directors that cared more about the kids and staff, than themselves. but no. they suck. they are such bad directors.

*sigh*

this morning this child was acting out and we couldnt do anything except try to restrain him. and we’re not suppose to do that. and there was a parent there helping. and both the directors were out of the building. so kristen had to help. and i had to have her kids. so i had 4 infants and 6 2 yr olds. and 2 yr olds arent even suppose to be in the same room as infants. and infant ratio is 4. so whatever.

the kid ended up running away from the center. the mom walked in the building saying ‘when i find that kids im going to kill him.’ what crap is that. im so sick of it. this women beats all her children. and yet no one at my center has the damn balls to call dcfs. which is crap. i dont either. but still, we all signed something saying whatever sign of abuse we’ll report. and we’ve all actually have seen it so yea.

i dont know.

it was just sad. cause like, he ran away. and he ran away to his school. and hes like 8. and something had to have been that bad in his life that he thought he had to run before his mom got there to take him home. cause he wasnt allowed to stay at the center after his episode.

so yea.

im also tired of my family.

and im worried. more upset i guess. my boyfriends ex girldriends mom, (he works for her) is trying to do anything that she can do to get him to not be with me. like, she is offering to pay for his rent in one of his friends apartments next semester. its fucking annoying. its not fair. and when his ex comes back from school during breaks im going to be nothing. becaus eher mom is going to make him spend everyday with her. and he will probably say that he needs to keep them both happy, while not seeing..or caring?? that im not happy.

im not going to be happy if he has to spend the night at her house all the time while shes here, because she cant stay here. its going to be such shit, and im just gonna be so upset and sad.

its not fair. my life friggen sucks. i hate it.

i dont know i just want to hide. and not come back some times.

i like my boyfriend a lot, more like..love. i guess. its turning into that. but im just going to get h urt, cause he has to be friends with his ex and keep her happy. and blah. im just. upset.

im gonna go.