another night

I look pretty right now. why cant i always look pretty.

im so sick of people.

they all make me so sad. like tonight we went bowling then went to this guy joe’s house. and he made me all sad talking about stupid stuff. i dont like drunk people sometimes. but i was also happy in a way, just to be out, and away from my family, and work.

im sick of doing my everyday thing. i cant ever do anything after work because i am always so tired. i hate that.

i feel extremely fat. i dont know if i am or not anymore. *sigh* it doesnt matter. i see myself that way if im not anyway.

doe. bah.

sad day. stressfull day. frustrating. evil. i dont know what to do with myself.

i want tiffany to be online. shes the only one i ever ever talked to online. and really thats the only reason why i even got on in the first place.

now she’s going to be moving somewhere else. and she wont be able to get online probably. and she’ll have to get a job and so i wont be able to just call her whenever.

she should move here. 😡 everyone here misses them anyway. lol. well the baby fanatics miss madisyn. but i miss tiffany more. lol. madisyn kept me up all nnights sometimes. lol. im a dork.

i want to kick everyone. i have no friends. even though i do. its like, they wont ever call me and invite me to do something. i always have to call them to find out what they’re doing. and i guess with lori, thats more so cause they always just used to assume whatever they were doing id be there. but now i hardly ever go out and so they just never call. it makes me really sad.

i guess im just dumb.

at bowling this man yelled at me. and he made me feel really bad, and i wanted to cry. and 5 minutes later he came over and gave me a bunch of passes for 3 free games. he said sorry too. i felt young. i hate that. im almost 21, i shouldnt feel young. (like a teenager).

*shruggs*

i dont know what else to say. i was going to write a lot. its was going to be very complainy. but im too tired, too mad, too annoying. everything. so yea. im just going to leave it at that.