all lies.

Have you ever just came to the realization that its all a lie, its been a lie, and it will always be a lie.

Do you ever just sit there, and see it all replay in your head? The whole entire event that just came into realization. The one that has you sitting there in tears, wondering if its worth crying about, or if you just feel you should cry.

Have you ever had those days where you just weren’t yourself? You’re there in body, you’re walking around, you’re talking to people, but you’re just not there.

Those days, where all you can do is think. And not all of its bad, and not much of its good. It just keeps you in a trance, the entire day/week/night.

Everything you see, everything you read, everything you smell, brings you back to a moment in time, that brings back another memory, that brings back a lie, that brings back a time..where you didn’t wish..but you had.

You cant keep from going back to everything, you cant keep from wondering, you cant keep from asking the same questions over and over in your head, daring yourself to ask them aloud, to anyone..if anyone care. But you know not to ask, you know theres no answer.

Ever had something happen, and you just couldnt watch it happen, but you had to. You have to bite your tongue not to say something, even though you KNOW you should say it.

It all seems like a dream, like something that really isnt happening, but it did or it is. And you dont want to admit it, you dont want to believe it.

You want to blame things on everyone else. But you only have yourself to blame, and yourself to thank.

Once something goes bad, in the slightest way. There is no hope, none, to get whatever it was good again. Nothing you can give, nothing you can do, nothing you can say. Its hopeless.

You’d think one would learn this. You’d think one would be able to stop questioning. You’d think one would have the ability to just block it all out.

When finally you’re happy, you think it will last. But theres still that little piece missing. That little thing that pulls all the happy you have in you together. But that thing is unreachable.

I want it all. I want all the answers, I want all my questions out of my head. I want to yell at the people I need to yell at. And I want to tell off the people that need to be told off. I need to blame people who need blamed, and hate people who need to be hated.

I cant do it though. I cant do any of that. I believe, I cant, because I feel I am a nice person. I like being a nice person.

I wish some things could just vanish. *poof* be gone. And then if that happened, I bet I’d wish it all back again.

I guess its just the way we are.