sad-ish, i guess.

well. i dunno. im not sure if i wrote about this or not. but not this past weekend but the weekend before that, my nephew told me his mom was pregnant.

so i had a lot of not so nice things to say to her about that. and of course me nnot being able to keep my mouth shut said them all to her.

and now i feel really bad. like horrible. and i dunno. she just doesnt need another kid, because honestly she cant stand the two she has. and i raised one for her, and the other is just, lost. lol.

well friday she started bleeding so she went to the tdoctor. and they did a bunch of tests. he pelvic and said there was a lot of blood. they did and ultrasound and they couldnt see the baby. so they scheduled one for today. saturday she was really crampy.

well they went in today, and they still didnt see the baby. so either she miscarried or its in the falopian tubes. (omg i cant spell that right for the life of me)and tomorrow she has to go have a DNC (not sure if thats the right word or not, but they have to scrape everything out, and stick something in her to see if its growing in the FT, not spelling that again)

so now i feel really bad for saying all those mean things. and i wasnt the only one who said them. my mom, sister, dad, brother. they all did. cause its all the truth.

but no matter how much i didnt think she should have another child. i was happy for them, because they were happy. and i was excited id be an auntie again. and now i just feel bad. and it almost, almost makes me cry. but im not taht upset about it. which again makes me feel badd, because i should be.

everything is just sucky lately. which i really dont care. work has just been painful. lol. ive been getting headaches there from all the stress. its been a really stressfull 2 weeks. and it just doesnt seem like its gonna get any better within the next two weeks.

erin is gone, the teacher i worked with. and now the director is going out of town for two weeks. and so theres just not enough people to keep up with the kids. and theres different teachers in and out of my room helping all day, and it freaks the kids out, so then their all cranky and only want me anyway. and no one helps with food or diapers, so really they’re useless in there anyway.

i dont know. just been working long stressfull hours. and i hope that they find me an assistant soon, cause it would just make it so much easier on the kids, and on me.

im tired. i want to go to bed. but i also want to watch the osbournes. hehe. im a nerd. im hungry but im so tired of eating cause im getting fat and i hate fat, on me.

and yay. tiffany. rachel better drive you cause im soooo looking forward to you coming. it will be lots of fun. even though i wont know what we’ll do all the time. but we’ll find things to do. and we can look at apartments and stuff, and we’ll go to six flags. and yea. hehe. get online damnit.