The End-Saying Goodbye.

Im done. No more knowing me. I will not write in this diary again (hopefully) except for private entries which only I will be able to read.

I will not let people know me anymore. I wont let them see things that I feel and that I want.

I began this diary a little over a year ago to help me. And it has, it has helped me a lot. I met my boyfriend on open diary and I was also able to write things that I would have never written without it. I was able to get my feelings out.

I wrote in it because I didnt want to bother people by directly talking to them, and it was their choice to read it or not. Well thats all over now, you cant read anymore, you wont know anymore, you can just pretend that Im gone.

Im so tired of people thinking they know so much about everything. Im tired of people judging me and not thinking I can do something that I really can. Im tired of people thinking Im making the wrong decisions, Im tired of having to prove myself and my intentions to everyone, so you know what, you just wont know my decisions/intentions anymore. No loss for me.

I thought things were different but they arent. I thought they’d be better but they’re not. People judging my actions, telling me that Im wrong in what Im doing, well fuck that fuck you.

Sometimes you have to look around until you find what you need to convince yourself that things arent what you thought. And even though you looked for it, you still hurt.

Whatever though right.

The only one that really matters in the end is yourself. (with the exception). And this is where I part. This is where I say goodbye to those who have tried to help, and those who have cared. Even those who only cared temperarely, or even pretended to.

I used to see things so differently. I used to think things, that I knew could never be right but I liked to believe it anyway.

Sometimes you do things because you want them to be, not because they are.

If you shit on me I shit on you. Thats what I am deciding right now. And you’ve shitted on me, so you know what, Im going to shit on you. Im going to try to leave without turning back.

At least I know now that I can get better, and that I will get better. I know that some time, hopefully soon, I will be completely happy. Im happy now, Im fine now, not depressed.

Im just going to keep moving, and you can stay. I really dont care anymore. Do what you want, what you think is best for you. I only know whats best for me.

So, I am saying Goodbye. something I dont do very often.

always-

Tomorrow.