is this whats left..

i dont know what im going to wwrite. mainly i dont know what i am thinking rite now.

im so..i dont even know.

i was so tempted to delete a lot of my entries this morning. thinking mostly all they are is just a bunch of bullshit whinning.

what is the point of half of them? and then i just remember that …its my life. this is what it is. the things you read here..the things i write about in here. this is it.

my life doesnt go much past what i write in here. actually this diary kind of over states my life.

im sitting here wondering why it is that i can talk to some people (friends) everyday, but i havent talked to my BoyFriend since, I think Sunday night.

Maybe its me, maybe not. Maybe I shouldnt worry about it..but for some reason I have to and I will. Im not going to pretend that I am happy about it. (us not talking). Cause, really..Im not.

i saw a movie tonight, The Family Man. I dont even know how to describe it…and I wont for those who will see it when it actually comes out for good.

Im really not sure what I thought of it. I dont know what it was..something about it..just made my head..crazy.

Almost made me crave what those two people had, what he saw they could have had if only they had gone different ways.

But what can I do, eh? Just have to sit back and let things happen now..and watch things I want go by because I am too afraid to say a word.

i could write such an awesome entry rite now, with these thoughts in my head.

but i dont think i will. it will not help me..it will not make me feel better. it wont keep me from being sad. if anything all the thoughts in my head..being put into writing..will only make me more sad.

and im not gonna let myself do that. so..sorry for the pointless entry.