moving forward..or..stepping back..

I really felt as if I was moving forward..as if I stepped out of my ‘hole’. Though when I look at it..I think I have just been avoiding the hole.

Im not going to lie. I have been feeling a lot better lately. But Ive also been hiding a lot of things.

I dont let anyone see the real me anymore. I dont think it really matters. Whether someone sees me being happy, or sad..eithers its me feeling sad inside happy out..or I show my sad and make people mad. ::thinks:: hard choice..not really.

I dont know. Im just..I have been better..and I am really afraid to step back. But then..I feel like stepping back. you know?

I know what its like..its comfortable. Cutting is comfortable and it is what I want to do. I dont know what else to do.

I wouldnt call what Im feeling rite now, depressed. I dont think I am..I think..Im just trying to figure some things out.

Because Im better..but still feel this need to cut, or this want..to die.

I dont know. I guess I just have to keep trying to move forward.

Each day brings what you put into it. Within each of us is a spirit, that which makes us each a part of nature. Within this spirit is life, love, and purpose. Look to that spirit, worry not what others may think, but to what makes you smile.

u’re right there’s always the feeling of falling back…i felt like I was retrieving into my little world of isolation once again…but i have to keep myself from failing..cuz no one else will help if they don’t kno

know “the real you.” THere are people who wouldn’t get mad at your sadness because it’s not always a controlable emotion, but they are the ones living in denial that life isn’t peachy keen 100 % of the time.

lol what i meant to say is that the others who do get upset with u are in denial…my oh my i am just writing a million run ons today…well that’s just something i’ll have to live with for now..luv ya

sometimes our holes are the best friend we have…sometimes to let others see us is suicide. but these things, someday, will fade-and great things will come of it. *hug* things will get better with time…adios,

it always seems like its better to make everyone think ur happie all the time. that always makes me feel a lot worse tho, that i have to hide the real way i feel. guess im just saying i kno wut u mean. ~hugs~

big, BIG {{{hug}}}

Foreward is the only way you can move. There’s an Irish blessing about that… As you go on your way something. When I remember, I;ll let you know.

Someone once told me that “we write the path to our healing” Expressing what is inside wether on paper or aloud is the first and hardest step in the processing of healing.. it is a begining.. don’t stop