blood.
Earlier today I accidently rubbed one of my fingers against a harsh surface and just the slightest bit of skin left my finger.
But it hurt.
And I didn’t want to look at it.
Later, I accidently cut myself. I watched the cut start to slowly drip blood. And I squeezed it so it would bleed more…fascinated. I didn’t want to take my eyes away from it.
And as I ran it under the hot bath water, I felt a small twinge of regret that the water washed it away.
I lay there thinking one thing. As the water droplets clung to my arm. He’s wrong about one thing.
I don’t want to be a writer.
A writer needs to be alive.
And right now I just feel dead.
Most great writers have some degree of darkness inside of them…channel it into your writing. It helps to ease the pain…I know from experience 🙂
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You have to find a way to use that dead feeling, though. I agree that writers can’t be totally barren inside to produce, but if you can write through it, you can use it to your advantage. Of course, if you don’t want to be a writer for other reasons as well, then that’s what you should listen to above all else. Do what pleases you. Always.
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Some entries, I feel unqualified to comment on. This is one of them. RYN: Thanks for the note! I enjoy hearing from people from my online past, especially when I didn’t even realize they were still around (I need to explore OD more). Though I appear prolific by comparison. ‘:I FYI, the grasshopper was released back into the wild (well, as wild as the front of our building gets.)
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being a writer is easier than being a successful writer. that’s been my experience, at least. is your title from edgar allen poe? mmm.
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hey, I just noticed that your diary shows up in my favorites list again since the new od thing came out. I’m excited…maybe its just me, but have you ever tasted your blood from a little paper cut or whatever? the iron makes it tangy, in an oddly tasty sort of way. yay for autovampirism…anyway. I haven’t talked to you in forever. you should get online sometime when I’m online too
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and, um, location: Maryland? what did I miss?
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…..writers are like that though. they have the ability to feel so very alive one day and completely dead the next. that’s something I think only writers can do. my thoughts are with you always. xo
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