yesterday’s January.

Sitting down here and typing makes me feel like a Bridget Jones or the main character from Sex and the City. There’s just something that feels so right about sitting in front of a keyboard, typing away endlessly. I love the sound that the keys make as run my fingers along them. I wonder what life would have been like if I would have become a journalist?

I need a job where I do nothing all day. I miss my job at the office. I used to write in OD all day. And I was constantly surrounded by inspiration for writing. Crazy people would walk in my door every day…

It doesn’t feel like it should be New Year’s eve. I wanted to write an end of the year entry two nights ago. But as I sat before a blank screen, I realized that I couldn’t quite remember everything that did happen this year. I started reading past entries from this year. Starting with January. I only read until March before I realized two things. I was unhappy at the beginning of the year. And once I became happier, I wrote less. So much of the year was lost because I didn’t write about it.

What happened this year? A litany of ups and downs. Hated teaching, hated my students, had a good day, loved my students, hated them again, experienced for the first time the world of drama, met a Tarzan, went out with a Tarzan, went on countless interviews trying to find my niche, started talking with R. in seemingly every spare moment I had, fell in love with R., met R., saw the ocean, fell in love with the ocean, was offered a job that seemed perfect except for the location, went through an inner-conflict about whether to accept or deny the job, accepted the job, moved to a far out community in the middle of nowhere, told parents about moving in with R., moved in with R., realized that I loved him even more than I ever imagined possible, realized that my parents really could accept my decisions and began to see me as an adult, realized that teaching has more amazing moments than can ever been realized, became closer to my family by being more apart, and above all, finally feel like I’m home and like I belong somewhere.

I always used to feel that as soon as something good happens, a bad thing is sure to follow. I haven’t felt that in awhile. This year has been amazing in so many ways.

I wish the me that is here now could go back in time and give the me that was existing in the January of yesterday a hug.