hilarious

So after I got my good news on Monday things were looking pretty bright. I could see a future for myself. I was making plans. And not that I don’t see that for myself now, but let me explain what happened on Wednesday… oh shit.
One of the things my doctor told me was that I needed to stretch my hamstring. The sciatic nerve has a tendency to get tight and because I was avoiding bending at the waist the nerve had shortened and that, combined with scar tissue and inflammation was causing my remaining pain. He said, "stretch until you’re blue in the face." I interpreted that to mean stretch aggressively but I now understand that I needed to stretch gently but frequently. I wish he would have said as much. Wednesday I overstretched and my leg started to hurt pretty bad by that night. Thursday it was worse. Friday it was on fire and today I can barely walk. And tomorrow. Well I shudder to think. Plus tomorrow is Dean’s birthday so my plans — they’re out the window. 
I had two full days of enjoying the good news before life smacked me down.  I wrote a haiku to express how I feel:

i’m taking a shit
it uncurls on to your head
once again, you lose

I consider it a positive step that I wrote the haiku from the point of life rather than the point of view of life’s victim.
If I’m still this miserable on Monday I’ll schedule an appointment with my pain specialist. Right now I’m using Advil and ice packs for inflammation and just resting. I had a little panic attack last night about the whole thing. These aren’t rational reactions but as you can imagine I’m worn out from a year and a half of riding the pain roller coaster. Plus I’m prone to anxiety and depression — not in a "oh get over it" kind of way. I’m not having the anxiety, the anxiety is having me, you know? I can get a grip for a little while but it’s tenuous.  
Over stretching is a very "me" thing to do. 
In non spine/sciatic news, the little queer indie film I wrote, "Who’s Afraid of Vagina Wolf" got a shout out on After Ellen. It’s going, I think, into production next month. Fingers crossed!