trying to maintain a positive outlook

Is so very hard for a pessimist. I’m breaking a life long habit of catastrophic thinking. I keep trying to tell myself, "you’re going to be just fine." but it always feels like a lie. I’m starting physical therapy tomorrow. I’m really looking forward to it. I just hope this guy is as good as he seems on paper. I really need someone who is going to give a shit about my situation rather than putting me through a generic routine.
My previous chiro was fine, but I always felt like I was being rushed through a non-customized treatment plan. And there was so little communication. What is it with Doctors and the whole "I’m going to tell you as little as possible" thing? Seems like they might have better results if they explained a thing or two. My chiro never once told me he thought I might have a herniated disc — now in retrospect the signs were obvious — he knew what was going on he just never told me. If he had at least said that I might have done some research into my situation.
It’s also really hard to not blame myself for having the first surgery. Now, now when it’s too late I’m meeting all these people who healed themselves. I’m reading all this stuff about how surgery is akin to a type of amputation and my back will always be unstable as a result. Cripes.
Okay, enough. I’m breaking the bad habit, bit by bit. Onward.