Tax Season

First of all, thanks for all the notes on the previous entries. It’s hard to find time to get online to write and/or note back. I don’t want to even get on the website at school, let alone log in. And it’s rare to have time during the week, as I am usually too exhausted to even think about turning on my computer.

Things are going well at home. Last weekend was a lot of fun. Nick and I had his work Christmas party and Alayna spent the night at my mom’s. I’ve got to say–we had the best and longest sex we have had in a long time. And we went in all sorts of positions. It was amazing.

Then Sunday we went to his friens house, as his friend had his daughter for two weeks, and the girls are around the same age. It wasfun, although the girls didn’t really get along. His daughter is a bully. She just turned  in December and is sooo tall–she is wearing 4T already!!! I am 5’3 and when she stands by me, she comes up to my abs, just above my belly button!!! That’s nuts! And Nick’s friend really isn’t that tall, at all.

Alright, to the point of this entry. I hate this time of year. It makes me sick to my stomach. And mostly because Nick tends to be selfish and be unwilling to talk things out, compromise, etc when it comes to this sort of thing. Now, since we aren’t married, when Alayna was first born, we had to go meet with someone and he had said we would take turns claiming her. He claimed her last yr, btw.

I think it would be really beneficial for us to go talk to someone to see what would make more sense for who to claim her. My Uncle, who is an accountant, said he thinks if I claimed her, we could get around 4 grand back–which is definately nice, considering daycare is soooo expensive (even for just the one day a week she goess–it’s insane!)

But no. Nick said he’s claiming her. Period. End of story. Because if he doesn’t claim her, then he’ll owe. I don’t get that *at all*

And I’m pretty sure I’ll get screwed over, in the end. Like, okay, he pays for our rent. Fine. And he put Alayna on his health insurance, finally–but that didn’t even start until January 1st, so has nothing to do with last year. Last year, both she and I were on Badger Care until I started teaching and then I got my own insurance and he was suppoosed to put her on his, but didn’t take effect until January 1st.

So anyways, he pays for rent. Well, rent less the $125 I pay for it. Plus I pay for gas/electric and cable/internet. I also pay for her daycare. And I also pay for the groceries and her diapers most often. But no matter how much I try and make him see, he thinks that because he pays for rent, that he pays more and that simply isn’t true.

He always complains because I’m broke all the time and I make more than him, per hour. Well, do the math–if you have money and I don’t and I make more than you and I’m not out buying things for myself like you are (renting video games/movies, buying cartons of cigerettes, etc) shouldn’t that tell you that I am paying more for our child than he is? I don’t spend any money on myself anymore.

I just don’t know what to do, though because anytime I even bring it up, it turns in to a big argument and he won’t even listen to what I have to say. He starts attacking me and gets me all flustered and then I lose my train of thought and my imperative points to the argument get lost, which clearly doesn’t help.

I’m so frustrated. This time of the year literally makes me sick to my stomach. I had the worst time trying to fall asleep last night, too, because it’s all I could think about. I just honestly don’t know what to do.

Til next time, I bid you adieu. Ciao, bella.