AHHHH! Stress!!!

     Yesterday I talked to Brad about getting together after I’m not with Chris anymore. It was weird because he was telling me that his mom is like, in love with me. What’s really cool about his mom is that he was saying she is really good at getting people’s parents to like her, and she’s the biggest bulls–ter ever. He said that one time he was talking to one of his girl friends (note: the space between those two words, lol) about her boyfriend because he was an asshole and always treated her like s–t, and she was always crying on the phone to him.He said that when they broke up, his mom suggested she stay over and then she would feel better. He said later he pulled her aside and said, "what the hell?" and she was just like, "she’s single!!"

     But ya, the other thing I did yesterday was talk to Chris finally. Yesterday was such a shttty day. There were two rabbit spays at the animal hospital, but they were in season, (That means in heat for rabbits) so each surgery took about 2 and a half hours, plus they had to do some other surgery on a bird, so they weren’t done surgeries until about 10:00 last night, which is absolutely insane. Usually all the surgeries are done by about 4, 4:30!!! At one point we had appointments AND surgeries going at the same time. I had a lot of closing down stuff to do too, but during the appointments and through most of the surgeries I had to stay on the main floor, so I didn’t finish until about a quarter to 11! I called my dad hoping he could come pick me up, but I think he was sleeping, cuz he didn’t answer the phone. I really didn’t want to, but I took up Chris’s offer to drive me home. I felt bad cuz I feel like I’m using him. I would have preferred pissing my dad off cuz he had to drive me home. Not to mention Chris dropped off my dinner at the animal hospital, so I feel extra bad, and extra guilty.

     Anyways, I snuck upstairs to take the phone cuz I knew I wasn’t going to be allowed to make a lunch for today, so I was going to ask Chris if he could give me the leftover food I asked him to save from Red Lobster when we went for his birthday on Saturday. Well, guess what we ended up talking about? Ya, it turned out exactly like I thought it would. He was just arguing empty points, but I had already made up my mind, even before the Brad idea came along, I wanted to be single for when I went away. oh, Chris just kept on going on about how he would always love me, whether I was two feet away, or however many thousand kilometres away, and Toronto will always be my home, and I’ll be coming back, and he wants to be with me. Man, life is so confusing!

     I’m afraid that the Brad thing will turn out to be like Chris, and I think I need to make it clear to Brad that we’re only going to try this, but it’s going to be long distance, and it might not happen. See, Chris may not want me to go to New Zealand, but Brad says, "No. It’s not happening. It’s not even a question."

     And I did’nt tell Brad about the whole Bridgette thing, of course, but I told him that Warren and I had a conversation about Brad and I, Brad asked me what he said, but he didn’t really say anything, he just kind of was listening. The only thing he did say was, "I never knew you had a thing for Brad Watts!"

      Brad also asked me how the conversation came about, and I just told him that we were exchanging stories. Brad was like, "Warren likes someone?" I was like ya, but he wanted to know exactly who it was and everything about it. I told him I couldn’t tell him anything, and then he said all he wanted to know was who it was. I said no, so he said alright, well just tell me if it’s someone in the school. I was like, hell no! Then you’ll find out who it is! So he said, well you just gave it away, now I can figure it out. I said no, I just meant that you might make a guess at the wrong person, and it could be really bad. So he left it alone. But the one thing I can’t remember about that conversation is how one thing came about. At one point he was all worried that the person Warren liked was me. Which brings me to wonder, but maybe I shouldn’t wonder because maybe it really is ridiculous, maybe Warren really does like me back. But he like Bridgette. But if Brad is so worried about it, maybe it’s true. But then Brad could be just like Chris, and overreact. Chris was convinced for the longest time that Warren liked me back.

     But ya, I really can’t tell Brad about the whole Bridgette thing, because he’s so incredibly close with Peter, and that would NOT go over well. Especially cuz they plan on moving in together! Man, I should really tell Brad not to even mention that he knows Warren likes somebody, but it’s probably too late by now. I really really really don’t want Warren to know that I’ve even hinted to anybody that he might like someone.

     I guess I’ll finish this now, cuz anything else I want to write needs to be in a private diary.