I should be committed

“Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else’s.”
~ Billy Wilder

I have had a very unfortunate accident with self-tanner and will not be wearing shorts, capris or even a skirt until a) it fades enough to where it no longer appears I have vitiligo or b) I reapply and get these splotches to even out.

My upper body isn’t so bad, other than the spot on my left forearm that sort of looks like it could be a birthmark, but my legs? Think leopard-print leggings … but they aren’t leggings, they’re my legs. It seriously looks like my freckles just exploded. Stupid vanity gets me every time, I swear. It’s the curse of a Swedish/Norwegian heritage; if I was two shades whiter I would be clear and all I wanted was enough of a tan so I don’t look sick. Pale skin can be really pretty in the right circumstances, but it’s pretty rare that I pose for anything like Victorian-era photographs.

Dammit.

So I’m getting my second tattoo on Friday. I figure it’s been almost nine years since the first one, so it’s time to elaborate on that theme.

My existing tattoo –

– is a window surrounded by ivy. The window isn’t ‘finished’ at the bottom, which symbolizes a work in progress, and ancient Romans use ivy as a symbol of an eternal commitment to achieving life’s goals; all together, this tattoo is a symbol of a ‘never-ending work in progress.’

My next tattoo is going to be symbolic as well. Ivy again, but this time I’ll add a vividly colored butterfly. The butterfly represents transformation; initially I hesitated to go with something so cliché and looked at using a lotus flower instead, but the symbolism didn’t play out the same way so flutter-by it is. The ivy again is representative of commitment to a goal – this time I’ll have seven leaves on the ivy, marking seven years since my RNY surgery.

So, all in all: vivid butterfly – vivid transformation, seven-leaved ivy – seven years (and counting!) of commitment. I’m not 100% sure where on my body I’ll do this, but I’m thinking that since my first one was on my left shoulder, maybe on the right side of my lower back, just above my butt cheek.

So there’s that.

The 10K race that I committed to running is eight weeks from this coming weekend, which means I need to start seriously training for that like right now. I have an eight-week training program that I can follow online, I just need to get off my ass and do it. I’ve been so slack in getting to the gym routinely and I don’t even want to talk about my eating (well, hello, PMS-monster) so I really need to refocus and just … commit. I’ve used that word a lot lately. Ah well.

Right after I finish this bagel and this coffee with too much cream in it I’ll work on that commitment.

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10K wooo wooo! My mom was making fun of me this weekend when I had to move from the sun into the shade, to try to preserve my skin. She was like, “you weren’t this fair as a kid, what happened to you?” and I was like, “don’t worry mom, I’ll get really brown this summer and now that I’m not an office drone, I can look forward to having part of my ear cut off when I’m 50. We can be twins.” That sort of shut her up.

Oh, self-tanner. The Jergens stuff that kind of gradually changes your color is not too terrible. I always end up with orangeish knees and ankles, though, so who am I to talk?

July 19, 2010

Ha! That first paragraph is hilarious! I hope things get better soon!

July 19, 2010

A little sea salt scrub and a loofah should make the self tanning issue better. I went outdoors to get my tan on this weekend and I am mostly no worse for the wear — except my boobs are bright pink. Damn Danish heritage, can’t win. Tracy and I both have butterflies as you might remember. Mine has so many meanings to me. As long as it means something to you it’s not a cliche. Now let’s not talk about my tattoo on my back, I plead insanity on that one.

July 19, 2010

what a neat idea for a tattoo! i didn’t even notice the window wasn’t finished until you mentioned it.

July 19, 2010

eek, that is precisely why i quit using self tanner, i’d rather just be translucent then orange. i somehow always managed to accidentally wipe it off of my hands and wrists but the part between my fingers would turn orange. nice! you might try an alcohol-free toner and/or baking soda/exfolient to help get rid of the blotchiness. good luck. 🙂 @};————-

As a fellow whitey girl, I highly recommend the lotion with a hint of self tanner in it. It’s so frustrating to have to plan more than others. Gah.

10K. Race!? That’s ambitious.

July 19, 2010

I’m thinking of getting a tattoo to commemorate the wedding, but I have no idea where to put it. The back of the neck would be cool, but I want to be able to see it..

July 20, 2010

Northern European heritage = bad tanning skillz.

July 20, 2010

RYN: Excellent point, thank you, and I agree. 🙂

July 25, 2010

L’Oreal has a self-tan corrector…part of the Sublime line. I’ve used it with oil (coconut or olive), and it helps, somewhat. Another thing that sometimes helps is shaving your legs with lots of lather, then buffing with oil and a towel. Good Luck !!!

Are you kidding? The hell with coffee. I only drink that first thing in the morning anyway. A few too many glasses of wine sounds perfect!!! Do you have travel plans yet?

July 27, 2010

thank you, beautiful.

July 27, 2010

I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you. But rest assured, I am laughing!

July 27, 2010

ryn: I totally miss you too. I wish you did live with us or next door or somewhere close. I even have the nicest man to set you up with, his name is Bruce and he lives in the building we want to move into. He loves dogs and he’s super nice but he’s crazy in a good way too and he’s about 40. I like him a ton, I would totally go out with him if I wasn’t married and I wasn’t gay. <br> I miss you too so much! Tracy says we used to get into trouble together, too much trouble! I have no recollection about such a thing do you? 🙂

July 27, 2010

RYN: I think you’re beautiful in all the photos. But I understand intimately how good you feel in the second 2 pictures. Trust me I will need your support. Maybe we can talk on the phone some evening. I’d like to catch up with you anyway and also ask you some questions about what surgery you had, how you recovered, etc. Asking SheShe is out of the question because #1 she “knows it all” and #2 she had a horrible experience.

July 27, 2010

This is why I don’t use self-tanner! It’s ALWAYS horrible. Good luck on the 10k. I’m training for a half marathon. The idea is that if I do that, I’ll work on a full marathon, and if I do -that- and don’t finish on a stretcher, I’ll get a tattoo. 🙂