25 / 40
In which time flies and our Hero has fun
It still surprises me sometimes as I discover things I have in common with my parents. It shouldn’t, but it does. So I kind of just sat back and enjoyed the show as my parents sat at a somewhat early party on the weekend past, for an aunt’s 25th wedding anniversary and didn’t say a word about the fact that it was their 40th wedding anniversary the next day.
Forty years.
I’ve hit the point where I’ve started referring to myself as forty, but I’m not, and it’ll take a while to adjust to that idea. Adding the fact that my parents have been together that long defies my ability to hold the idea in my head. But they’re still good to each other, in spite of all the things that life brings, including getting older. They squabble like… a horde, really. Sometimes like children, sometimes like statesmen. But they are kind to each other, in little ways.
I was reflecting on that idea a lot this past weekend. Or maybe just noticing it. Sure, there’s an obligation to say hi to people, to pay respect. But when she saw my cousin standing near her, my mom flashed this smile, and it was genuine pleasure at seeing her nephew. And I was much more conscious of the same kind of smiles from the various aunts. There’s something important in that, and I’m not sure what exactly to call out. But I saw it again and again as family moved together. And I felt it as one of the Bobs stopped by to talk to me.
There was supposed to be a surprise party for them. In fact, originally, I was thinking to throw a party for them. But then my dad’s kid brother and his family hijacked the whole thing. Annoying, but whatever. Anyway, for most of the last year, it was this secret conspiracy. Until that uncle got diagnosed with a nasty cancer and suddenly nobody knew what to do. Suddenly it seemed really awkward to invite that side of the family when they must surely be preoccupied (which is a silly-ass reason but this is what the planners declared so, again, fine).
So the planners proposed a new plan which was to be just a smaller party, not surprising, but something about the idea annoyed my dad, so he kinda just put his foot down and said no. Vigourously enough that they called me to tell me that the plan B that they hadn’t told me about was dead too. Umm. Okay.
Frankly I think they enjoyed this more. An evening out, a lot of old friends, no attention and that’s it. But I’m waiting for a break in the assault of family occasions so I can take them out for just-us surprise party. I think they’d enjoy that too.
You wouldn’t want a big shabang for our 25th anniversary? I WOULD!!!! We’re so different, sometimes.
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I was still working at the newspaper when my parents reached their 50th anniversary. My father sat me down and told me in no uncertain terms that we were not to put any kind of announcement in the newspaper nor were we allowed to throw a party. In the end, just us “kids” too them out to dinner and they loved it.
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Wow 40 years… I’m reaching my 16th anniversary next month and that in itself seems like a huge achievement…yep after all the headaches. 🙂
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we’ve been married over 30 years (how the hell does that happen?) but have always taken the position that our anniversary is our holiday, and we don’t expect anyone else to acknowledge it or hijack it. There are so many other holidays in a year for families. and the feeling from the aunts… they still see you as their sister’s little boy and that’s always going to be magic.
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36 coming up first week in december. ours to share french food at a place we’ve gone to for y.e.a.r.s. 🙂
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Love it – an immediate family surprise party. Hope you don’t mind if I steal the idea. Congratulations to your parents; it’s wonderful that true love might actually still exist. : )
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You’re an only child? Don’t be in too big a hurry to get to be 40. Jack Benny stopped at 39 – when I was a kid that seemed old, never could figure out why he wanted to be 39. Now it seems pretty young.
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