Postcards from my mother
In which our Hero finds that his bedding has become some what of note
I was on the phone with Nocturne when I got through the door, and going to my room, I sighed in exasperation and mentioned to her that my mother had left me a note on a scrap of paper from my recycle bin. So I read it to Nocturne.
4/24/2011
Serin, my Sunshine,
I LOVE YOU very much. Where is my daughter-in-law? I promise I will be a good mother-in-law.
Your loving Mommy,
[initials]
Nocturne did not believe me at all. Made me read it again. I’m not sure if I’ve been excused from the requirement to send her a picture or not, which I’ll have to check, but I insisted that the note exists, and that it’s in fact just the latest in an ongoing string of such notes, lovingly passive aggressive since I was a teenager. Back then it was about homework, or cleaning my room. These days, it’s less pedestrian, but more pointed.
As an aside, yes, that’s what I call my mother, but it comes from British tradition and oddly, we spell it with an “O” but I say it a with a very British “U.” Nocturne smiled at that and I will admit to a small degree of embarrassment, but she’s my mommy, and on the grand scale of embarrassments that woman has caused me over my lifetime, this one is like a single snowflake, melted and gone before notice..
Anyway, I was saying that actually, this is one of a long chain of messages, and when Nocturne couldn’t believe it, I fished out another two that were near the top of the recycle bin.
2/23/2011
We love you Serin. Lots of xxooxxooxxooxx
Mommy & Daddy
[initials]
I’ll be honest, I didn’t really realize that my mother had picked up on the whole “X” and “O” notation. So there you go.
This other note is just a doozy. It’s a two parter.
[Around March 1st]
Serin, I love you very much.
I am sad you have nobody when I leave this world. Love, your mommy.
[initials]
It was on top of a stack of paper at the top of the stairs which is usually a marshalling point for things to go down the stairs or things on their way up, so I didn’t really stop to look at it. But a few days later, the note moved to in front of my door, and got extended.
3/4/2011
How happy we are because you are there for us!
Do you understand how much we love & care [for] each other? Now it is your choice to be happy with it. I love you Serin, you are our sunshine, without you we never would have been so happy.
I love you Serin-mon [Serin, son]
[Signature]
The addendum probably resulted when I wandered by and found my parents tucked together into the corner of the couch. I’ve never ever had reason to wonder if they loved each other, but I can’t say they’re particularly demonstrative, no flowers, and they don’t go out to dinners or movies or dates. But as much as they cluck and bark from time to time and as much as their styles drive the other one nuts sometimes… they are present for each other.
Nocturne was startled that I’d never mentioned getting these notes to her. It’s been a longstanding nuisance that I don’t really register them and it was only the outright subtlety that made me mention it then.
I’ve always seen the notes in three ways based on content, kind of sweet if goofy, kind of lecturey, and sometimes just outright hamhanded. Frankly it’s a little frustrating that I can’t really spend more than a few minutes with my mother without her starting in on my single state. But reading them to Nocturne, suddenly it occurs to me that I’m seeing these annoying notes wrong. Not annoying, but in fact, letters from my mother who will not be writing me forever, as she herself thoughtfully points out.
She may be madder than a Hatter but my mommy loves me.
“My mommy loves me” is a realization everyone should have at some time in his/her life. If Nocturne is paying attention, and I’m sure she is, she’s probably considering the implication that you appreciate the role(s) women play in your life and have good relationships with them. So, added bonus for that.
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It’s a mom-recipe: a little passive-aggressiveness combined with compelling Love and you end up with Love-Smacks. They’re better for your teeth than Sugar Smacks. I was just e-mailing (in almost real-time) with Kidlet earlier this evening and felt the compulsion to throw a “you’re a terrific person and I luffs ewe sew mush!” as a complete nonsequitor into the midst of the e-mails. Sometimes us Mumsy-types just cannot contain how much we Love our amazing adult/children. For the record, I am “Maaaaaa,” “Mumsy,” “Mommy,” “MomMomMomMomMomMom” said in a Stewie voice, and “Muh-ma” to my Kidlet. And when she’s annoyed with me, I am her “little mother.”
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One of the most precious realizations a person can have: knowing that your Mommy loves you. I only wish all people had that experience.
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Your mom may be a little bit nutty, but at least she’s nutty in a sweet, motherly way. Mine is nutty in a terrifying, manipulative, screeching harpy way. And I really have no idea whether or not she loves me. Don’t take your nutty mother for granted for a second! Some of us are severely lacking.
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i find it terribly endearing that you share this kind of thing not only with Nocturne, but with us too. Face it, you are proud of your mother and don’t think she’s the least bit nutty. She says perhaps what you think! My mom loved me too, and i miss her a lot. I hope you write notes back to her sometimes.(your mom, not mine!)
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My mother was never as tender and kind to me, but now that she’s gone I find everything she ever wrote to me to hold new meaning probably because there is no more.
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this is why i saved all my camp letters. dad wrote the most and his handwriting is why i first saved them. it’s spencerian. but his love and calling me ‘sammy’ for years is really why. yes, every child needs to know how much they are loved. saved each note; cherish it. i even cherish the one meg wrote me after i scolded her when she was four..: “mom you are a big booger” have it still;love it dearly. xoxo
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Aww. I find the British ‘mummy’ to be terribly … young. You can only get away with it as a teenager/adult as someone in the upper-middle to upper classes without sounding like a complete nitwit. It’s probably better without sounding quite so English.
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aww, your mommy loves you! those were some weird-ass notes, though. ;p
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You are a lucky man to have a mommy like that, Serin. 🙂 My son calls me momma. He’s almost 41 and calls me momma. I love it. I think I’ll write my son a note.
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Damn that’s awesome. I kinda love notes like that. I’m going to embarass my kids like hell with notes like that.
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Very sweet – and wonderful that you have such a connection with her. My Mom used to write notes and tuck them in my lunch bag, similar content. It was quite a pick-me-up on bad days, and embarassing on good ones. I think I’ll do this to my kid, too.
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Aww that’s so sweet.
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You should send her a love note on Mother’s Day. 🙂 KT
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Soooo sweet. I try to be that way for my sons too…
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You should get those things out of the recycle bin and start keeping them someplace safe! They’re precious and you’ll miss them someday. Trust me. I wish I had mine.
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ryn: Haha. Sorry. Yes, they are totally inedible, only good for construction, I’m afraid, although some people swear by the stale ones. *shudder* (They don’t decay – there’s something suspicious about that.)
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They are charming and funny, especially the pointed ones. 😉 Maybe that’s because it’s not my mom though. RYN – I thought seriously about that, but my timeline’s too short. I start the new thing in two weeks and it may take that – or longer – for the background thing to come back. I am feeling a bit better this afternoon, thankfully. Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂
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At least she’s not telling you to pick up your room and put your laundry away.
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There is nothing I would like better than for Elmo to hook up with a good female counterpart. It would make me so happy.
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ryn: sweet fancy jesus, if i never needed photoshop, i need it now.
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I think they are sweet. she cares. I hate the way Americans say MOM, the word is mOther, pronounced with a U, so when its abbreviated is becomes mUm, not mOm. but that is my five cents worth.
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you know…people once thought wearing and decorating in bright colors was inappropriate…a sign of a personality lacking in restraint and propriety. Perhaps even “Batty”. However…imagine a world without color… I’m a bit envious of your relationship with her – it’s admirable, even if it may sometimes chafe your independent nature. Remember to bask in it from time to time.
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