The echos there of me and you

This may never start.
I’ll tear us apart.
Cannot be your enemy.
Losing half a year.
Waiting for you here
I’d be your anything.

There was a moment there, lying the lush green park, spirit is charging me 7 cents a minute to hear your voice. The plane over head, working next to an airport is a constant reminder..I don’t think I will ever become immune to it..

and you said n.e.v.e.r alone, because it would hurt your family and my blood started to scream giveup so I think I did..never thought your words would cut me. just breathe, try to shovedownthispain we’ve had this conversation before

We try to say with confidence
That were picking up oblivion
And I was tryin to make some sense
Speaking to you

And hope is an awful thing to have, I don’t feel stupid, I just feel defeated. Lucy said the moon is making us wacky, and I keep repeating I can be happy here, icanbehappyhere my mantra, if I tell myself I can, I will..Even if I have to be, numb..

There is no farfaraway, or happily ever after…no trips, just this..just here…just miles and miles of nothing and I’m scared of being dead inside again.

So I read your diary, start to finish like a good stalker, there was so much I never noticed..so much, I missed..forgotten.

Have I been selfish with you?

Have I been wrong?

I didn’t pick to go though this with you; you just always came back..Maybe you were in love with me too..?

I guess we all had to choose between love and the otherthing inevitable..

neverevernever I hate that word so much.

And I’m haunted
By the lives that I have loved
And actions I have hated
I’m haunted
By the promises I’ve made
And others I have broken
I’m haunted
By the lives that wove the web
Inside my haunted head
always… always
I’ll always want you
I’ll always need you
I’ll always love you
and I will always miss you..

I feel so fucking alone right now.

*Angel*

Can I be your memory?

all my updating will most likely be done here now, grand reopening..