Secrets of a Dirty Old Man

It is coming. Soon it will be here. I am filled with anticipation. Hurry. Spring is coming. The signs are evident if you look. The headlights on my car are one guide. I drove to work without lights. I returned still without lights. It is coming. I am waiting.

Many harbingers are around of spring. The Big East Tournament at Madison Square Garden. is one. UCON demolished Syracuse and as I write St. John’s and Miami are tied at the half. March madness is erupting.

Next weekend the Chieftains are at the P.A.C. in Newark. My wife and I along with another couple will leave next Friday afternoon and go to a Hotel for the weekend. Friday night is the Concert. And Saturday will be spent looking at shops and Television sets. Checking out our picks as the first round of the NCAA tourney commences. Last year my picks were good enough for me to win a pool. Maybe I’ll repeat. .Imagine a 63 year old Mall Rat.

Tomorrow and tomorrow night we are baby-sitting at my daughter’s house for her three children. Fifteen months: four years and six years are their ages. I think this make an even match. I have conned my wife into allowing me to take the two older ones to Mickey D’s for dinner. If I were a pervert I would borrow kids and go to a fast food restaurant to pick up chicks. All the Mommys and Grand mommys smile and talk to you in these circumstances. I am sure it would work. I still remember how to pick up chicks. I just forgot why.

The kids love to go in the play rooms that the places provide. They have a blast climbing through the mazes and playing in the boxes with the brightly colored plastic balls. I wonder just what lurks in these boxes. Does anyone know what the other kids have done in with these balls. What are these stains and why are the balls all wet?

The parents are always so delighted to leave the children and get away overnight. Little do they know what they are doing and what will happen with their kids why they are away. I for one intend to spoil the children rotten and then give them back. I remember the advice I heard once from a source forgotten. Be nice to your children for they are the ones to pick your nursing home.

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