Jade Morris

I checked my bp notes one day and came across someone who just had the sweetest things to say, and this is how I responded,

 Thank you so much for those kind words. Sometimes people never realize how much one kind word can make a world of difference in one person’s life. Today I was just feelin sad and lonely. Until, I saw your note and read your page. You had to quotes that really got to me the first was

 "Learn to depend on yourself sometimes rather than others because others can turn out to be your worse enemy."

 Throughout my whole life I only had myself to depend on. I got myself through college by joining the Army and every since I can remember I always had to work. Everything I have now, my car, apartment, computer, laptop, I brought myself. All my friends  had parents who brought them cars and paid for school, cell phones, etc  and I never had that. So young college student thank God for your parents who provide for you. I always loved my friends from high school because they knew me like no one else. I told them everything and I talked to them whenever I had problems with the people at NIU. I thanked God I had them to talk to. Whenever I went back home on breaks from college, sometimes the only thing I looked forward to was hanging with the people who knew me best. But somehow life got in the way and I didn’t hear from them like I use to. I would literally jump off a bridge for these girls, I didn’t understand Y they couldn’t make time 4 me. So again I was disappointed and I didn’t know what 2 do.

 The other quote was,"Everyone is going to hurt you sometime, you just have to figure out who is worth the pain."

 Absolutely everyone I know has hurt or disappointed me in some way and it is so hard for me to get over those disappointments because I make it a point to always keep my word. Its hard for me to forgive people who continue to hurt me.  I have a bad habit of distancing myself from those who hurt me the most  and most often. Now I am in the process of finding a way to forgive and that quote has given me a new reason to forgive.

 This made me think of u and the way things were left. Im sorry for not returning your calls but I   have a bad habit of distancing  myself from people and situations that hurt me. I was hurt by the fact that throughout the my years at NIU I always felt alone (even though I lived with Danielle I always new she wasnt a real friend) and when you would come to visit you didn’t even care enough to at least stop by and say hi. You were my friend and I will always love you despite who ever you are with  but I could never understand how u could come up to NIU and visit whatever his name was but couldn’t visit me or at least let me know u were there. And Finally I just got tired of being second best to men and boyfriends period. Jovanne did it and so many of my other friends and its a touchy area for me because my mother did ( and still does it) it to me back in high school. My stepfather did not want me living with them and that’s why I had to move in with my father my last two years of high school. So, finally I got this off my chest and I wanted  to clear the air. So I figured that no matter how much I am hurt by u, u r  worth the pain.  And I hope you will accept my apology.